The best death jokes

Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, friendship, marriage, wife
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, money
It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
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has 46.30 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: baby, dead baby, death, Yo mama
Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What do you call an African-American whose spouse just died? A: A black widow.
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has 45.83 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, ethnic, racist
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, money
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, men
Chuck Norris once strangled a man with the mans own eyelash.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
"Killed it" is a figure of speech implying someone stopped the banter. To Chuck Norris that's just the motto of his life.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
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