The best death jokes

The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, life
They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
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has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, flirt, sex
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?” The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, work
Chuck Norris knows who's buried in Grant's Tomb.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, music
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris is proof that legends never die.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
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has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, death
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, money
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