The best death jokes

My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Vote: has 55.25 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."
Vote: has 55.19 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, doctor, medical, work
Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"
Vote: has 55.17 % from 159 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, church, death, god, heaven
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, money
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Vote: has 54.66 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, family, jewish, war
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death
Jake was watching vigilantly at his dying wife's side. "Sleep now, it's all right," he told her. But she kept trying to sit up and said, "Honey, I really need to tell you something." Finally Jake let her get it off her chest. "Jake, honey, I need to tell you something before I die. During the last two months, I slept with your brother, your best friend and your father." "Don't worry about it," Jake said, "I already know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
Vote: has 54.31 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, life, wife
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, hunting, phone


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