The best death jokes

One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.
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More jokes about: death, life
Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, death, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"? A: He got crucified
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More jokes about: black humor, christian, communication, death
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
Vote: has 49.93 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, death, life, time
Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.  Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news".  "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first." The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."  The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks what the good news is. The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crayfish and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share."  He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.  "Geez, thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... so what's the other possible good news?" "Well", the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again!"
Vote: has 49.54 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, marriage, travel, wife
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. "Okay," the sheriff drawled, "Gomer, what is 1 and 1?" "11" he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, "That's not what I meant, but he's right." "What two days of the week start with the letter 'T'?" "Today and tomorrow." He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself. "Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?" Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, "I don't know." "Well, why don't you go home and work on that one for a while?" So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant. "It went great! First day on the job and I'm already working on a murder case!"
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, cop, death, work
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.
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More jokes about: animal, death
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, music