The best death jokes

The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, funeral, hospital
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died. "You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad. Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God." Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"
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has 52.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dad, death, dog
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, heaven
Bill sat alone in the hospital room at his dying wife’s beside. It was difficult to hear her above the many life sustaining devices, asher voice was little more than a hoarse whisper. "Bill darling," she breathed. "I’ve got a confession to make before I go... I... I’m the one who took the $10,000 from your safe in the house... I spent it on a fling with your best friend Jimmy. And it was I who forced your mistress to leave the community in utter disgrace. I’m afraid I also was theone who reported you to the IRS for income tax evasion..." "That’s all right dearest; don’t even give it a second thought." said Bill. "I have a small confession too. I’m the one who poisoned you."
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: death, hospital, marriage, money, wife
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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has 52.41 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Q: What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? A: One says "See you later" and the other says "In a while".
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, time
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