The best death jokes

What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
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has 55.91 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Sylvester Stallone's son was found dead. I guess we have a good plot for the next Rambo movie now.
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, celebrity, death
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
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has 55.71 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, jewish, war
As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most - his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me." All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put $20,000 in the coffin." The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full $30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that." The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, lawyer, life, money
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
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has 55.38 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, dog
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret? They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT, life, phone
First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, medical, work
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