The best death jokes

My dad died on 9-11. He was the best amateur bomber on Iraq's flight team.
Vote: has 55.58 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, terrorist
Don't let worry kill you - let the church help.
Vote: has 55.57 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: atheist, church, death
On a long walk in the woods, Johhny found himself out late and decided to look for a place to rest the night. He finally found a hut in the middle of the woods and knocked on the door. An old man answered, and he agreed to give Johhny a bed for the night on one condition: the man's teenaged daughter would be in the other bed, and Johnny was not to touch her or disturb her sleep in any way. Johnny agreed, but changed his mind when he saw how beautiful the sleeping girl was and, while she didn't respond to his caresses, she didn't push him away either. The next morning, Johnny awoke alone, but he figured the girl had gone to do her chores and he eagerly awaited her return. Instead the old man walked in, wiping the tears from his eyes. "What's wrong?" asked Johnny. "Oh, I've just come back from the cemetery we had my little girl's funeral this morning. But thank you so much for sitting up with her body last night."
Vote: has 55.52 % from 114 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, funeral, little Johnny
Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
Vote: has 55.51 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, communication, death, kids, Thanksgiving
First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."
Vote: has 55.19 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, doctor, medical, work
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
Vote: has 55.19 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, knock-knock
Black preacher is driving home from church and sees the white preacher walking down the road. He reluctantly pulls over to offer him a ride. A short distance along the way the whit guy says " you people don't actually think Jesus was black do you?" "And what makes think he's not?" The black pastor snaps back. The conversation becomes so heated less than needed attention was paid to the road and both men died in a trgic head on collision. When st. Peter opened the pearly gates to heaven before them, there stood Jesus Christ himself. He spread his arms slowly in a welcoming gesture and said "Buenos dias amigos!"
Vote: has 55.06 % from 161 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, church, death, god, heaven
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, money
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
Vote: has 54.97 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death


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