Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep? A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
If Chuck Norris killed Kenny, he'd stay dead.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
A police officer pulls over this guy who's been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry, officer, I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that, I'll have a really bad asthma attack." "Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death." "Well, then, we need a urine sample." "I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that, I'll get really low blood sugar." "All right, then I need you to come out here and walk this white line." "I can't do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I'm drunk."