A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
3. Cancer
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Q: What do you call a flying Jew?
A: Ashes.
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Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
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Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears.
He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?"
She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night."
The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible! Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?"
She says, "That he did, Father..."
The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, "Please, Mary, put down that damn gun..."
Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to.
He knows CPR.
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Good news, I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
The bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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Chuck Norris did the blue whale challenge.
By the 50th day, his instructor had jumped off the building.
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What did the Alabama sherriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?
Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
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Little Johnny was a chemist.
Little Johnny is no more.
What he thought was H2O was H2SO4.
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