The best death jokes

First man: "I follow the medical profession." Second man: "Are you a doctor?" First man: "No, I'm an undertaker."
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has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, medical, work
So a blonde walks into a Bar at a hotel that has it on the top story and sits Down. A man in a Trench coat Leans over to her and says,"You should get this beer" *Holds up bottle* "It allows you to do amazing things!" At this the man stands up, jumps out the window and Flies around twice before coming back into the Building. The blonde then orders the Same beer. She drinks it. And then Jumps out the window. And falls to her death. The Owner of the Bar then turns to the man in the coat and says, "You know you're a real Prick when you're drunk, Superman."
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has 55.00 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, blonde, celebrity, death
Two drunks were walking home along the railway tracks. The first drunk says, "There's a hell of a lot of steps here." The second drunk says, "I'll tell you what's worse, this handrail is bloody low down"
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, death, drunk, travel
Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
Q: What is worse than ten dead people in one trashcan? A: One dead person in ten trashcans!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting
Old Farmer Peter was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones." Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you." Peter: "But I want you to." Wife: "But why?" Peter: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"
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has 54.49 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: death, horse, marriage, wife
What happens to black people after they die? Nigger Mortis.
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has 54.45 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: "Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you." The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk. The voice shouted, "Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die." The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him. "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?" "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered. "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "Where the hell were you when I got married last week?"
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has 54.38 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: car, death, marriage
Q: What is the difference between Harry Potter and a jew? A: Harry Potter escaped the chamber.
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has 54.36 % from 217 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, jewish, morbid
Yo mama so stupid... she died of starvation in a grocery store.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, stupid, Yo mama
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