The best death jokes

Chuck actually died four years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".

Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.

Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"

One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigga in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

A cowboy and a retard are sitting at home bored. The cowboy says," let's go down to the bowling alley and beat up niggers." The retard says ," OK ". When they arrive , the cowboy sees five black dudes bowling. He goes over and starts beating their asses. He stops and looks to see the retard smashing bowling balls with a sledgehammer. He goes over and says, " hey... I thought we was gonna beat up niggers?" The retard responds, " yeah...you get the live ones, I'll kill the eggs ."