The best death jokes

Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, soccer
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, wedding
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
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has 45.43 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
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has 45.39 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
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has 45.28 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
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has 45.24 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop, death
Chuck Norris is proof that legends never die.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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has 44.56 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, life, technology
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