The best death jokes

One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
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has 45.24 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop, death
Chuck Norris is proof that legends never die.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Granny congratulates Johny to his birthday and tells him: "May you live so many years, how many steps you made to the church during these years!" Suddenly appears the Death and tells Johny: "Have you heard your Granny's wish? So, pack up your suitcases, tomorrow you'll finally go with me, mac! Those 4 steps will not save ya!"
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has 44.47 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: birthday, black humor, death, little Johnny, time
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
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has 44.47 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, music
Mary held her little daughter, twenty minutes under water. Not to care for any troubles, just to look at those funny bubbles.
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has 44.47 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: baby, death, morbid, poems
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
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has 44.21 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead. Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, life
It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
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