The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit.
Jews don't pay for anything.
I pray for:
Wisdom, To understand a man.
Love, To forgive him and;
Patience, For his moods.
Because if I pray for Strength
I'll just beat him to death.
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window.
After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window.
He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window.
After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
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This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company.
He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?”
The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"?
A: He got crucified
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When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have drug him a mile!
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Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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