The best death jokes

English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
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has 41.18 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: car, death, military
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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has 40.77 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
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has 40.53 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, work
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
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has 40.36 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish, morbid, Santa
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, death
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, religious
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, music
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
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