The best death jokes

Chuck Norris did 5 successful suicide bomb missions
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, religious
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, drug
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, wedding
What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road? The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.
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has 45.33 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, dog
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, love, women
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
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has 45.25 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop, death
Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died? A: Act stupid until I get back.
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has 45.25 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, mexican, racist, religious
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, friendship, marriage, wife
Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer
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