The best death jokes

Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, music
Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died? A: Act stupid until I get back.
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has 46.00 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, mexican, racist, religious
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, religious
Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, drug
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, wedding
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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has 45.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, love, women
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
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has 45.26 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop, death
A cowboy and a retard are sitting at home bored. The cowboy says," let's go down to the bowling alley and beat up niggers." The retard says ," OK ". When they arrive , the cowboy sees five black dudes bowling. He goes over and starts beating their asses. He stops and looks to see the retard smashing bowling balls with a sledgehammer. He goes over and says, " hey... I thought we was gonna beat up niggers?" The retard responds, " yeah...you get the live ones, I'll kill the eggs ."
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has 44.81 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: black people, cowboy, death, health, racist
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, morbid, sport, winter
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