The best death jokes

I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, love, women
The more self-killers, the fewer self-killers.
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, life
The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, death
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, drug
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
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has 46.29 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: death, women
A cowboy and a retard are sitting at home bored. The cowboy says," let's go down to the bowling alley and beat up niggers." The retard says ," OK ". When they arrive , the cowboy sees five black dudes bowling. He goes over and starts beating their asses. He stops and looks to see the retard smashing bowling balls with a sledgehammer. He goes over and says, " hey... I thought we was gonna beat up niggers?" The retard responds, " yeah...you get the live ones, I'll kill the eggs ."
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has 45.58 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: black people, cowboy, death, health, racist
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, wedding
Every night while Dave is having dinner his wife Natalie goes to the bedroom turns off the light and makes out with Daves friend Andy by the window. After some days Dave had doubt and leaving supper he went to the dark room only to hear whispers from the other side of the window. He pushes Natalie away goes near the window,unties his pant and put his arse facing the window. After a minute Andy puts a kiss on his butt cheek and says "Natalie, haven't u brushed ur teeth today?"
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, friendship, marriage, wife
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
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has 45.26 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop, death
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
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has 44.63 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, jewish, mean
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