The best death jokes

They say sex is a killer... Do you want to die happy?
Vote: has 46.87 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, death, flirt, sex
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, death, food, morbid
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, disgusting, drug
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
Vote: has 46.53 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, music
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Vote: has 46.29 % from 111 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, women
I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.
Vote: has 45.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, love, women
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
Vote: has 45.52 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
Vote: has 45.52 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, marriage, wedding
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
Vote: has 44.95 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, death, military
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT


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