English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans.
The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die.
The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door.
The Germans say, why do you want a car door.
The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Vote:
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
Vote:
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
Vote:
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
Vote:
I had a mate who was suicidal.
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
Vote:
2PAC once thought he was tougher than Chuck Norris... he was later murdered.
Vote:
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
Vote:
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews?
A: Santa comes down the chimney.