Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called the vicar who had married her. "Reverend," she wailed, "John and I have had a dreadful fight!" "Calm down, my child," said the Reverend, "it's not half as bad as you think it is. Every marriage has to have its first fight!" "I know, I know!" said Joanna, "but what on earth am I going to do with the body?"
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.