Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Q: What animal rotates at least 200 times after it dies? A: A rotisserie chicken.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
I'm going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do... by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely, Michael Myers
The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
This executive was interviewing a nervous young blonde women for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with someone, living or dead, who would it be?” The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”
Chuck Norris killed Heath Ledger... nobody ruins the image of cowboys and lives.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Did you hear about the black guy that died on the highway? He stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death.