The best death jokes

Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Vote:
has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
Vote:
has 39.62 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, death, military
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him. The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.
Vote:
has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, drunk, money
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, cowboy, death
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
Vote:
has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: death, sport
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
Vote:
has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, couple, death, winter
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.
Vote:
has 39.38 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, women
There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck. And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters? The bull must have drug him a mile!
Vote:
has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, drug
Q: Why are black people so afraid of ghosts? A: Because they are haunted by dead kkk members!
Vote:
has 38.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
<<<54555657
More jokes →
Page 54 of 60.