The best death jokes

Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, nurse
Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
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has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
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has 39.81 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: death, military, office
Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
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has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, insulting, Yo mama
Q: Why are black people so afraid of ghosts? A: Because they are haunted by dead kkk members!
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has 39.64 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
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has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
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has 39.62 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, death, military
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