The best death jokes

Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
Vote:
has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died? A: Act stupid until I get back.
Vote:
has 37.09 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, mexican, racist, religious
Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
Vote:
has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, nurse
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
Vote:
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
Vote:
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".
Vote:
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: death, ethnic, wife
The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
Vote:
has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: bird, blonde, death
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
Vote:
has 36.12 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, jewish, war
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!
Vote:
has 36.10 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, management, navy
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?  A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.
Vote:
has 36.08 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, soccer
<<<54555657
More jokes →
Page 54 of 60.