The best death jokes

Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
Vote:
has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, terrorist
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
Vote:
has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer, morbid
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
Vote:
has 39.94 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
Vote:
has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal, death
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
Vote:
has 39.81 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: death, military, office
Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die." Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
Vote:
has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
Vote:
has 39.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, insulting, Yo mama
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Vote:
has 39.64 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
Vote:
has 39.62 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: car, death, military
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him. The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.
Vote:
has 39.50 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, drunk, money
<<<54555657
More jokes →
Page 54 of 59.