The best death jokes

Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, insulting, Yo mama
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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has 37.73 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, funeral, hospital
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
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has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.” “Amazing,” said the councilor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, old people
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, nurse
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!
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has 36.10 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, management, navy
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