The best death jokes

Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, nurse
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died? A: Act stupid until I get back.
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has 36.16 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, mexican, racist, religious
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
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has 36.13 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, jewish, war
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him. The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: death, sport
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?  A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.
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has 36.08 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, soccer
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, sport
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