When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse?
A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
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Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later.
The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died?
A: Act stupid until I get back.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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