The best death jokes

When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death, travel, winter
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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has 37.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, time
Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, nurse
Chuck Norris is who killed Kenny.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him. The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: death, sport
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?  A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.
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has 36.08 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, soccer
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, sport
Q: What did Jesus tell the Mexicans just before he died? A: Act stupid until I get back.
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has 35.71 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, mexican, racist, religious
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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has 35.29 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, life, technology
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