English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans.
The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die.
The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door.
The Germans say, why do you want a car door.
The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck.
And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.
Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have drug him a mile!
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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Q: Why are black people so afraid of ghosts?
A: Because they are haunted by dead kkk members!
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray?
A: Family research.
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt.
This parrot was a very nasty parrot.
It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer.
The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped.
George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.”
He opened the door and saw the bird alive!
The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again.
George said, “Why the change?”
The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."