The best death jokes

A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: death, sport
Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, insulting, Yo mama
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
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has 44.04 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: baby, dead baby, death, Yo mama
Q: What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man who shot himself 15 times? A: The worst suicide case he has ever seen.
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has 43.72 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black people, cop, death, racist
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: car, death, military
Q: What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking? A: When my phone dies, I actually give a fuck.
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has 43.40 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, phone
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
One fine day in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. The deaf policeman heard the noise, and came and shot those two dead boys. If you don't believe this joke is true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
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has 42.60 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, cop, death
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
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has 42.13 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, military, office
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