The best death jokes

Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
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has 43.58 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish, money, racist
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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has 43.43 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, death, food, morbid
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
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has 42.96 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: baby, dead baby, death, Yo mama
Q: Why are black people so afraid of ghosts? A: Because they are haunted by dead kkk members!
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has 42.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
A man went into a bar in a high rise. He saw another man take a pill, take a drink, walk to the window and jump out. He flew around for a minute and zipped back into the bar. As the amazed newcomer watched, the man repeated this twice more. Finally the man asked if he could have a pill. The flier said it was his last one. The man offered five hundred dollars to no avail, so he made a final offer of a thousand dollars. The man said that it was all he had on him. The flier reluctantly gave in, took the cash, surrendered the pill, and turned back to the bar. The man took the pill, took a drink, went to the window, and jumped out only to fall to his death. The bartender walked over to the flier at the bar and, wiping a glass, said, “You sure are mean when you’re drunk, Superman.
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, drunk, money
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.
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has 41.30 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, women
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
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has 40.93 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: death, military, office
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
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