The best death jokes

The whole idea of Jesus dying to pay for our sins is bullshit. Jews don't pay for anything.
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has 38.91 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, jewish, mean
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
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has 38.50 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: bird, Chuck Norris, death, travel, winter
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, death, parrot
In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
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has 37.97 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, terrorist
Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, insulting, Yo mama
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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has 37.73 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, funeral, hospital
Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us. The only difference is, then he kills people.
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has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.” “Amazing,” said the councilor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, old people
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
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has 37.45 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
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