The best death jokes

Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
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has 42.49 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, jewish, war
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
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has 42.42 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: baby, dead baby, death, Yo mama
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
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has 42.42 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish, morbid, Santa
Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer
Jesus won't come back again. Why? Because he know you will kill him and see if he will wake up again.
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has 41.94 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, easter
Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him? A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".
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has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: death, ethnic, wife
Q: Why are black people so afraid of ghosts? A: Because they are haunted by dead kkk members!
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has 41.13 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, racist
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God… “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go!” Bill replied, “Well, thanks, God. What’s the difference between the two?” God said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision.” “Fine, but where should I go first?” God said, “I’m going to leave that up to you.” Bill said, “OK, then, let’s try Hell first.” So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. “This is great!” he told God, “If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!” “Fine,” said God and off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. “Hmm, I think I prefer Hell” he told God. “Fine,” retorted God, “as you desire.” So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. “How’s everything going, Bill?” God asked. Bill responded – his voice full of anguish and disappointment, “This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can’t believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?” God says, “That was the screen saver”.
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has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: car, celebrity, death, god, IT
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
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has 40.24 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
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has 40.09 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, terrorist
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