Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck. And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
Q: How do you kill 1000 Jews at once? A: Throw a dollar off a cliff.
Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed. Some get away. They are called astronauts.
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone. Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.