The best death jokes

A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said: "Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
Vote: has 45.48 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, music
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
Vote: has 44.95 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, death, military
Why is it so sad that Steve Jobs died? Everyone at Apple are crying their's out!
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. "Sir, please calm down," the manager replied. "It's dead. It can't bother you now." "The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said. "It's his pallbearers."
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death
A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
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More jokes about: death, sport
Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, death, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What did the Alabama Sheriff call the black man who shot himself 15 times? A: The worst suicide case he has ever seen.
Vote: has 43.72 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black people, cop, death, racist
Q: What's the difference between my phone and Stephen Hawking? A: When my phone dies, I actually give a fuck.
Vote: has 43.40 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: celebrity, death, phone
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
Vote: has 42.63 % from 75 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dead baby, death, Yo mama
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
Vote: has 42.13 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, military, office


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