The best death jokes

Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
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has 38.87 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, jewish, war
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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has 38.75 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
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has 38.50 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: How do you know that a dead body found by the side of the road is a nurse? A: Because its stomach is empty, its bladder is full, and its ass chewed!
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has 38.49 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, nurse
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
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has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, death, parrot
Yo mama is so black, she died on the sun.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black people, death, insulting, Yo mama
Q: Where did OP go in the explosion? A: Everywhere.
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has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, terrorist
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.” “Amazing,” said the councilor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, old people
Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, game
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer
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