The best death jokes

A boxer had written on his tombstone: "You can stop counting. I'm not getting up."
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has 39.47 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: death, sport
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, couple, death, winter
Question: How do you call a woman who always knows where her husband is? Answer: A widow.
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has 39.38 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: death, husband, women
There was a blonde who tried to hang herself and a diffrent blonde came in and saw her hanging from her stomach and said," your supposed to hang yourself from your neck. And she said," i tried that but i couldnt breath.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death
A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
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has 38.74 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, mexican
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
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has 38.50 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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has 38.49 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
Doctor: "You have cataract in your eyes. But you need not worry It is hereditary." Patient: "Death is also hereditary. Does it mean we should not worry about it?"
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor
A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died,” she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years.” “Amazing,” said the councilor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward.”
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has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage, old people
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?  A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, soccer
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