The best death jokes

Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
has 36.10 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, hunting
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?  A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.
has 36.08 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, death, soccer
Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear. The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him. The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?" The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"
has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: death, sport
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer
"Well," snarled the tough old Navy Chief to the bewildered Seaman, "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and piss on my grave." "Not me, Chief!" the Seaman replied. "Once, I get out of the Navy, I'm never going to stand in line again!
has 34.70 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, management, navy
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
has 34.69 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, military
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, heaven
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