When Chuck Norris was a kid, he wanted to see if you really could kill two birds with a stone.
Let's just say that's why birds fly still south in the winter.
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray?
A: Family research.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man.
He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?"
A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients."
"And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching."
"No, we came to make sure he was dead."
Q: Did you hear about the Hungarian who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Hungarian Remover".
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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Q: What's the difference between a bullet and a Jew?
A: A bullet actually comes out of its chamber.
A large number of Black soldiers died in Iraq war because every time their chief said:
"Get on the floor!" they stood up and started dancing.
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Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
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If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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