The best death jokes

The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
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has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, sport
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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has 35.29 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, death, life, technology
Chuck Norris doesn't bug hunt as that signifies a probability of failure, he goes bug killing.
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has 35.12 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, hunting
Q: What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? A: Not enough sand.
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has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, lawyer, morbid
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
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has 34.88 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
A man is at his lawyer's funeral and and is surprised by the turnout for this one man. He turns to the people around him. "Why are you all at this man's funeral?" A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients." "And you ALL came to pay your respects? How touching." "No, we came to make sure he was dead."
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, lawyer
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
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has 34.69 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: death, military
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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has 34.40 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, marriage
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
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has 34.25 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, heaven
A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. “Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer. “Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. “In this state, it’s against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put `here lies an honest lawyer’.” “But that won’t let people know who it is!” protested the lawyer. “Sure it will,” retorted the stonecutter. “People will read it and exclaim, “That’s impossible!”
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has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: death, lawyer
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