The best death jokes

Q: What's a polygon? A: A dead parrot.
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has 31.25 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: bird, death, math, parrot
Boy’s father come back from uk & was calling his wife. Boy:- papa mom has died. father slaped boy & said why u dont inform me when i was in America Boy :- i thought i will give u a surprise.
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has 30.41 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: death, kids, wife
Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder. Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky. Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
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has 30.36 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, food, life
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, Facebook
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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has 30.07 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, death, food, morbid
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor: - Help me, please. I have a knife in my back. The doctor, looking his watch says: - Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you. Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8. - But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now. The doctor, angrily says: - I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you. You must pass here tomorrow. - But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead. Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back. The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye. - Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
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has 29.51 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, time
"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor." "But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."
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has 29.23 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, doctor, school
Yo mama is so fat that when she died jesus couldn't lift her soul to heaven.
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has 28.82 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, fat, god, heaven, Yo mama
A guy finally got tickets to the Super Bowl, but his seats were in the nosebleed section -- but he didn't care, he had always dreamed of going to the Super Bowl. So he wants to find a seat closer to where he can see better. He finds this seat toward the front and he asks the guy next to it whether anyone is sitting there. The guy replies, "No, because my wife just died." "Well," says the first man, "why didn't you just bring a friend or relative?" The guy replied, "Oh, they're all at the funeral."
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has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: death, funeral, sport, wife
Jesus won't come back again. Why? Because he know you will kill him and see if he will wake up again.
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has 28.23 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: christian, death, easter
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