The best dirty jokes

The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
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has 71.87 % from 1089 votes. More jokes about: birthday, communication, dirty, lesbian, sex
Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
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has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor. As he can't hear very well, he takes his wife with him. The doctor examines the man and then says, "Hmm, I think we need to take a stool sample, a urine sample and a sperm sample." The old man turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?" The wife replies, "He said he wants your underwear."
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, old people
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.
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has 71.74 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
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has 71.63 % from 195 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, gay
After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"
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has 71.61 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dirty, fish
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
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has 71.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Q: What do women and airplanes have in common? A: They both have a cockpit.
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, women
What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "firetruck"! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? "popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
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has 71.47 % from 810 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What’s an orgasm, Mom? A: I don’t know… ask your father.
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has 71.38 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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