The best dirty jokes

They were three men discussing how to make their wives to tell them if they cheated on them. The first guy says: "I go home after work at night, lie on the couch, turn on the television and ask: 'Woman you cheated on me today!' 'Who, me my husband? Could I ever do such a thing?' Pissed off as I am, I get up, put her down, punch her and in the end she can’t take it anymore and admits: 'I cheated on you with Nick…'" The secong guy says: "I do exactly the same thing. I punch her and finally she says: 'I cheated on you with Jake…'" The third guy says: "I have no problem at all. I go home, undress, put the sweat pants on, light my cigarette on, I go out to the balcony, see the neighbor spreading clothes and shout at her: 'Mary! You are a whore!' And then she starts saying: 'I’m a whore? Or your wife who sleeps with John, Mark, Peter…!'"
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has 70.55 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: dirty, husband, war, women
What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
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has 70.45 % from 119 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
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has 70.38 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, viagra
Two men were shipwrecked on an island. They decided to venture inland to see if they could find someone. The men came across a village in the middle of a jungle, immediately they were surrounded by a tribe of islanders. The chief walks to the men and says, "What do you choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The first man thinks for a second and replies, "I choose Boogaloo". The chief smiles and the tribe begins to chant "boogaloo, boogaloo, boogaloo". The chief takes the man, bends him over and f**ks him up. The second man is horrified at what he has just witnessed and then the chief walks up to him and asks, "You must choose, Death or Boogaloo?" The man thinks he would rather die than have boogaloo, so he replies, "I choose death." The tribe roars in ecstasy and the chief yells, "Death by boogaloo!!!"
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has 70.33 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
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has 70.33 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex
"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?" "No, why?" "Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"
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has 70.17 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt
I have asked my mamma: "Mamma, why do we have 10 cock birds but only 1 hen?" Mama has said to me: "Because I want that she has a better life than I had."
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, life, sex
A guy's talking to a girl in a bar. He says, "What's your name?" She says, "Carmen." He says, "That's a nice name. Who named you, your mother?" She says, "No, I named myself." He says, "Why Carmen?" She says, "Because I like cars and I like men. What's your name?" He says, "Beerfuck."
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has 70.01 % from 173 votes. More jokes about: bar, beer, car, dirty, sex
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
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has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: computer, dirty, geek, IT, viagra
Virginity like bubble, one prick all gone.
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has 69.93 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
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