The best dirty jokes

"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?" "No, why?" "Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, flirt, game, sex
A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport. There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year. The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a handjob." The driver declines immediately. The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing. When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, mean, money, time
Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
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has 70.17 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, football
A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says, "Come again!" Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
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has 70.16 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, time
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
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has 70.06 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: dirty, funeral, insulting, sex, wife
Johny came crying. Dad: "What happened?" Johny: "Today at class when we got up from our seats for prayer, Rita, who sits in front of us, had her skirt stuck between her ass, seeing that my bench mate pulled it out." Dad: "That's bad, but why you are crying?" Johny: "I knew that's bad, so I pushed it back into her ass and she slapped me."
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, vulgar
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
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has 70.02 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
A couple was having an argument, and the man was losing badly. After 5 minutes the woman won the argument proving the man to be stupid, the man sadly says "If my proof falls then I rome through the halls." Then the woman leaves for 10 minutes and comes back starts giving him a blowjob. The man is confused and says "what are you doing?" She said "If I prove you dumb I give ya some." The man continues to lose a argument knowing he will get a blowjob after 10 minutes, and he did. Years later they have a kid but none of them want him so they have an argument of who takes care of it and the other leaves for good. The man without a thought loses the argument the get another blowjob, but after the argument the woman starts rapping "Yo yo guess who's the kid, not me so suck yourself bitch." Before she leaves the he says "what about the blowjob?" She says ask my twin sister that has herpes cause she did it the whole time.
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has 70.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: couple, dirty, men, stupid, women
On a pair of boxers: Caution! Contains nuts.
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has 69.96 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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