The best dirty jokes

A little boy wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down on him." His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh.. well.. ah.. well, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!" His mom says, "Why?" And the boy replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up."
Vote:
has 70.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman heads to the doctors office for her usual checkup. While there, the doc notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of an H and inquires about it, "Oh, my boyfriend likes to wear his Harvard sweater during sex." The next day, another woman comes in, for a checkup. While there, the doctor notices a strange rash on her chest in the shape of a Y and inquires about it,"Oh, my boyfriend is really into wearing his Yale sweater during sex." The next day, another woman comes in, again, for a simple checkup. This woman too has a rash on her chest, and the doctor, catching on with the trend, asks,"So, Does your boyfriend go to Wisconsin?" The girl replies, "Nah, but my girlfriend goes to Michigan."
Vote:
has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
Vote:
has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, masturbation, sex, vulgar
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
Vote:
has 70.33 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty
They are going to play golf at the business meeting. The guy flies out there a day early. He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha. He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for. He takes her in back and starts doing his thing. The girl starts going crazy. She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" He thinks, "This girl is loving this." Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one. He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!" The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
Vote:
has 70.32 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, golf, sex
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
Vote:
has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, vulgar
"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?" "No, why?" "Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"
Vote:
has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt
A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says, "Come again!" Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
Vote:
has 70.16 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, time
What is the smallest hotel in the world? A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
Vote:
has 70.16 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
Vote:
has 70.13 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, stupid, teacher
<<<40414243
More jokes →
Page 40 of 92.