The best dirty jokes

Three guys die and go to Hell. Satan asks the first guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a candle maker." So, Satan burns off the guy's d**k. Satan asks the second guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a rope maker." So, Satan rips off the guy's d**k with a rope. Satan asks the third guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" The guy smiles and says, "He made lollipops."
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has 72.33 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
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has 72.26 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? No ball room.
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has 72.26 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: dirty
In the morning Little Johnny says to his father, "Daddy last night I had my first s*xual encounter." His father looks at him proudly and says, "When are you planniing to do it again?" "I don't know daddy ever since it happened my ass has been hurting like crazy."
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has 72.18 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What does it mean if you were born in September? A: That your parents started the new year with a bang!
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has 72.10 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, new year, sex, time
Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed. "Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?" Murmurs the other woman. "Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
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has 72.04 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, racist, sex, time
Don't ever let your girl talk to another guy about her problems; a shoulder to cry on, becomes a dick to ride on.
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has 72.03 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."
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has 72.01 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, husband
A handsome young lad went into the hospital for some minor surgery, and the day after the procedure a friend stopped by to see how the guy was doing. His friend was amazed at the number of nurses who entered the room in short intervals with refreshments, offers to fluff his pillows, make the bed, give back rubs, etc. "Why all the attention?" the friend asked, "You look fine to me." "I know!" grinned the patient. "But the nurses kind of formed a little fan club when they all heard that my circumcision required twenty-seven stitches."
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has 71.87 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: dirty, hospital, nurse
Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
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has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
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