The best dirty jokes

The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
Vote: has 72.04 % from 118 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it. Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
Vote: has 71.99 % from 154 votes. Send joke:
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Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.
Vote: has 71.97 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, marriage, masturbation, technology, work
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
Vote: has 71.97 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, sex, women
An ugly bloke walks into a pub with a huge grin on his face. "What are you so happy about ?" asks the landlord. "Well, I live by the railway and on my way home last night I noticed a woman tied to the tracks. I cut her free and we shagged all night !" "Did you get a blow job ?" asks the landlord. "No ..." he says, "I never found the head."
Vote: has 71.87 % from 101 votes. Send joke:
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A lady walked into a dentist's office, took off all her clothes, and spread her legs. The dentist said, "I think you have the wrong room." "You put in my husband's teeth last week," the lady said. "Now you have to remove them."
Vote: has 71.86 % from 72 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, husband
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom...
Vote: has 71.85 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, travel
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
Vote: has 71.72 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
Vote: has 71.70 % from 84 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
Little gay Johnny asks Billy, "If you went camping and woke up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone? Billy says, "No way, that'd be embarassing". Johnny then asks, "Wanna go camping?"
Vote: has 71.64 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty


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