The best dirty jokes

A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
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has 68.61 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
Have you heard about the Viagra computer virus? It turns your 3 1/2 inch floppy into a hard disk.
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has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: computer, dirty, geek, IT, viagra
Kamasutra says: If you suck one nipple, the women herself offers the other one. And that was the origin of "buy one get one free"!
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has 68.56 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: business, dirty, money, sex, women
Andy and Annie are watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, “My friends, I’d like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV & the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you.” Annie has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, Andy approaches the television, placing one hand on top of the TV and his other hand on his groin. With a frown Annie says, “Andy, he’s talking about healing the sick, not raising the dead.”
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has 68.50 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
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has 68.42 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover? A: His ass!
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, vulgar
A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks. "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, dirty, food, money
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table has no balls.
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has 68.25 % from 511 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, lesbian
After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge. As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed. Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!" A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!" I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."
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has 68.15 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, sex, sport, winter
A woman walks into a dildo shop to buy a dildo. After a few minutes of looking around she approaches the clerk. "Excuse me, do you have anything bigger?" She asks. The clerk shows her a few items on the shelf. "I'm looking for something bigger than those," she says. The clerk pauses for a moment, "I think I might have what you're looking for, but it's expensive." "Oh that's fine," she says. The clerk leads her to the counter where he was sitting and pulls out a massive chrome cylinder. "$500" he says. "Oh wow," says the woman, "that is expensive, but it's perfect." The woman hands the clerk $500 and happily leaves the store. The store owner comes out and asks the clerk, "so have you sold any dildos?" "No, but I sold my thermos for $500."
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has 68.14 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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