The best dirty jokes

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50 Chicken Sandwich: $2.50 Hand Job: $10.00 He checks his wallet and beckons to the sexy bartender. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?" he asks. "Yes," she purrs. "I am." "Well, wash your frickin' hands," says the man. "I want a cheese sandwich!"
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has 69.34 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: bar, bartender, dirty, food, money
A mother was arguing with her teenager and finally she reaches breaking point and blurts out, " I should swallowed you when i had the chance!"
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has 69.31 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory? The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
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has 69.30 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, viagra
boy: spell "me" girl: M-E boy: but you forgot the D girl: there's no D in me boy: not yet ;)
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has 69.25 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: dirty
There was this old woman who heard a song called “Two Lips and Seven Kisses.” She called up information after hearing the song on the radio to get the name of the record company. In dialing, she erroneously called up a gas station, and she asks, “Do you have “Two Lips and Seven Kisses?” The gas station attendant who answered the phone said, “No, but I have two nuts and seven inches!” So the woman asked, “Is this a record?” To which the man replied, “No, its average!”
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has 69.23 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: dirty, music, women
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
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has 69.08 % from 763 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Can I read your t-shirt in braille?
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has 69.06 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt
How can you tell a tough lesbian bar? Even the pool table has no balls.
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has 68.99 % from 469 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, lesbian
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
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has 68.96 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty
Got my wife a dildo and some shoes for her birthday. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself.
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has 68.86 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, masturbation, sex, vulgar
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