The best dirty jokes

A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
My wife found a porn magazine in our son's room the other day. She showed it to me, and it was BDSM. She asked me "What we should do?" Me: "Probably not spank him." She belted me with the magazine. Now I know where he gets it from.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, life, wife
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, marriage, sex
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
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has 70.41 % from 115 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that." Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!"
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has 70.40 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind the counter says, “What size?” He says, “I don’t know.” She hold up a finger and says, “That big?” He says, “Bigger.” She holds up three fingers and says, “That big?” He says, “Smaller?” She holds up two fingers and he says, “That’s it.” She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, “Medium.”
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has 70.40 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, drug
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
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has 70.40 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
Whats the difference between a coffin and a condom? One you go in the other you come in!
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A bloke asks his mate "do you ever talk to your wife during sex ?" His mate replies "yeah, if she calls."
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt… Damn mosquito!!!
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has 70.37 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, sex
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