The best dirty jokes

A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
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has 70.52 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face? A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
Q: What’s an orgasm, Mom? A: I don’t know… ask your father.
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has 70.38 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
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has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, friendship, phone, sex
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
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has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two liars were talking together: First: "My father built 1550 miles of 101 freeway in west of US lonely in one night." Second: "That is nothing but I've been born from my mother's ass." First: "It's impossible. I do'nt believe you." Second: "Shut up. I've believed your 1550 miles distance but why you don't believe my only 4 inches length?"
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has 70.30 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, vulgar, work
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
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has 70.21 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
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has 70.17 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that." Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!"
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has 70.07 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A willy is like a tree in your 20's its like a rock hard oak. In your 30's & 40's its like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After your 50's its like a xmas tree, dead from the roots up & the balls are just there for decoration.
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has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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