What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?
The hippie girl gets stoned before have sex.
A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says,
"Come again!"
Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"
Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
A guy walks into a bar with a four-foot crocodile on a leash, following him like a dog.
The barman says gruffly: "No pets allowed here!"
The guy says, "But this is a trained crocodile. See what it can do!"
He sets the crocodile on a table and hits it on both ears.
The crocodile opens its jaws wide.
The guy unzips his pants, puts his pecker into the crocodile's jaws and hits the crocodile on the ears again.
The crocodile closes its jaws leaving just one-inch space, not touching the man's pecker.
Everybody in the bar is very impressed.
To build upon it, the guy declares: "I give a hundred dollars to anyone who does it!"
But everybody is afraid to - understandably, each would rather have an undamaged pecker than a hundred dollars.
Finally, a man wearing a pink suit, with an earring in one ear, says in an effeminate voice:
"I think I can do it!"
Everybody admires him, "What a brave man you are!"
The man continues, to the guy: "Just don't hit me so hard on the ears!"
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome.
Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common?
You don't look down.
Vote:
Man comes home to find his 17 yr old daughter with a d*ldo up her.
"What are you doing," he shouts.
"Well you won't let me have a boyfriend so this is my substitute," she explains.
The next night the daughter comes home to find her dad with a d*ldo up his arse
drinking a can of beer, "What are you doing," she shouts.
He replays, "Having a beer with your boyfriend."
A mother was arguing with her teenager and finally she reaches breaking point and blurts out, " I should swallowed you when i had the chance!"
Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes to see who should get in.
A man ascended to heaven, and came to the gates “Who was the first man?” asked Peter.
“Adam.”
“That’s correct. Enter.”
Soon another man came along.
“Where did Adam and Eve live?”
”Eden.”
“That’s correct. Enter.”
Then Mother Theresa came along.
“Ooh, I’ll have to give you a hard one. What did Eve say when she met Adam for the first time?”
“Mmm, that IS a hard one.”
“Enter.”
Can I read your t-shirt in braille?