The best dirty jokes

Can I read your t-shirt in braille?
Vote:
has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt
A young man walks into a bar and orders a Kamikaze. As soon as he is severed he slams it down. And before the bartender can walk away he calls out I need a shot of Tequila. So the bat tender pours the tequila. And no sooner than he is server he slam it back and then the young man asks for a shot of Gin. The bar tender compiles with the request, and out of curiosity asks the young man are you celebrating? The young man nods, and says quietly mt first blow job. The bartender smiles and says I remember my first. The young man looks up and says so how did you get rid of that taste?
Vote:
has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Three men were caught for murder on same day. Very next day they were produced in the court. After hearing all the arguments the judge decided to declare the verdict after lunch. It happened to be his wife's birthday that day and he had promised to not give death penalty on her birthday to anyone. After lunch judge announced that all the three accused will receive 500 lashes. Since it's almost a death penalty all accused were asked for their last wish. First one thought as nothing can save him now, wishes for noth ing. He is lashed 500 times all over his body. He was bleeding all over gasping for final breath and conciousness. When second person was asked for his wish he thought for a moment and said, "I wish that 10 pillow is tied all over me." Well, 500 lashes was given but he laughed all over as pillow absorbed all the forces of lashes. Now, The third person was called and asked for his wish. He looked around. He saw first person facing his death and counting his last breath and second person laughing at first person calling him idiot. He took some time and with deep breath said,"Tie second person over me. "
Vote:
has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, prison, time, wife
Teacher: "Who can tell a story?" Little Johnny: "Our maid's ass." Teacher: "Why?" Little Johnny: "Last night daddy touched her ass and was whispering: 'A wonderful story.'"
Vote:
has 70.78 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, little Johnny, teacher, vulgar
Boy: "Do you like parties?" Girl: "Yes, why?" Boy: "Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"
Vote:
has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, men, party, women
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
Vote:
has 70.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, dirty, family, kids
*How girls become friends* Omg I love your shoes! *How guys become friends* Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches.
Vote:
has 70.66 % from 285 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
Vote:
has 70.61 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
An old married couple were having s*x and the wife says, "Baby, suck my nipples!" The man dies; autopsy said, "Reason for death: Expired Milk"
Vote:
has 70.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
Vote:
has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
<<<39404142
More jokes →
Page 39 of 92.