The best dirty jokes

A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?" The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!" To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
has 70.52 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face? A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex
Q: What’s an orgasm, Mom? A: I don’t know… ask your father.
has 70.38 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty
My friend over there really wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.
has 70.36 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, friendship, phone, sex
I use camouflage condoms so they cant see me coming.
has 70.34 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two liars were talking together: First: "My father built 1550 miles of 101 freeway in west of US lonely in one night." Second: "That is nothing but I've been born from my mother's ass." First: "It's impossible. I do'nt believe you." Second: "Shut up. I've believed your 1550 miles distance but why you don't believe my only 4 inches length?"
has 70.30 % from 197 votes. More jokes about: birthday, dirty, vulgar, work
If you're feeling down, I can feel you up.
has 70.21 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"
has 70.17 % from 114 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, food
Jimmy was staring at a dog in the park whilst the dog was licking himself in inappropriate parts and said to his dad, "I wish I could do that." Jimmy's dad looked down at Jimmy and said, "Maybe if you ask the dog nicely, he might let you!"
has 70.07 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A willy is like a tree in your 20's its like a rock hard oak. In your 30's & 40's its like a birch tree, flexible but reliable. After your 50's its like a xmas tree, dead from the roots up & the balls are just there for decoration.
has 70.03 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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