The best dirty jokes

What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "firetruck"! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? "popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
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has 71.02 % from 761 votes. More jokes about: dirty
*How girls become friends* Omg I love your shoes! *How guys become friends* Excuse me sir, I see you fuck bitches, I myself, also fuck bitches.
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has 70.79 % from 290 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship
An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”
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has 70.78 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, old people, romantic, sex
A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says, "Come again!" Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
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has 70.76 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, time
Girl, you should sell hotdogs, because you already know how to make a wiener stand!
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has 70.75 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Their was a camel and elephant, the elephant said to the camel. "How come you have your t*ts on your back?" and the camel got offended so he told the elephant. "Well why do you have your d*ck on your face?"
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has 70.73 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: dirty
They are going to play golf at the business meeting. The guy flies out there a day early. He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha. He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for. He takes her in back and starts doing his thing. The girl starts going crazy. She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!" He thinks, "This girl is loving this." Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one. He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!" The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, golf, sex
Two girlfriends meet again after a few years. One is pushing around a baby buggy. The first girlfriend looks at the baby and is perplexed. "Black skin? Blue slit eyes? A blonde afro? How did you do that?" Murmurs the other woman. "Damn gangbang! At least he doesn't bark!"
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has 70.72 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, racist, sex, time
Q: What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? A: One's a Goodyear. The other's a great year.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, time, vulgar
A man is in Vegas where he lost all of his money so he can't pay for a cab to return to the airport. He sees a cab and begs the driver to give him a free ride to the airport but the cab driver declines. The next year the man returns to Vegas and get filthy rich when he decides to leave for the airport. There is a huge line of cabs, and at the very end of this line was the very driver who never gave him a ride the previous year. The man walks up to the front cab "Excuse me, sir if you give me a free ride to the airport I'll let you give me a handjob." The driver declines immediately. The man then asks all the drivers in this line the same thing. When he gets to the last driver, he pays the fee and the cab driver begins moving, when he moved by the line, the man puts two thumbs up through the window so all the other drivers could see.
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, driving, mean, money, time
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