The best dirty jokes

Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
Vote: has 50.96 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
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There's a faggot between Y and I on your keyboard... look!
Vote: has 50.71 % from 102 votes. Send joke:
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Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?" Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course." The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, gay, little Johnny, prison, sex
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
Vote: has 50.61 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Vote: has 50.54 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
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Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Vote: has 50.40 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
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Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
Vote: has 50.34 % from 59 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
Vote: has 50.29 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
Vote: has 50.08 % from 118 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, dirty, gay, sex
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex


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