The best dirty jokes

A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, women
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
Vote: has 50.61 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, military, navy
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Vote: has 50.40 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows... You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
Vote: has 50.29 % from 43 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chocolate, dirty, flirt, food, sex
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Vote: has 49.95 % from 54 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex, women
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, fitness, flirt, food, sex
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
Vote: has 49.68 % from 117 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, dirty, gay, sex
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, money
Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, dirty, sex, stupid, Yo mama
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Vote: has 49.12 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty


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