Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!
Yo momma is so fat, that when NASA put her on the moon, her breasts were the only things bouncing... just like on earth.
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine.
He will be my squishy."
"Let go of my boob."
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?"
"Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose."
"Wow, what does it look like after sex?"
"Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork?
Why was the BLIND blonde sitting on newspaper?
So she can lip read.
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra?
A: Oooh - Henry!