The best dirty jokes

Girls are like biscuits - they are tough until they get wet.
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has 52.23 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
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has 52.10 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, flirt, food, sex
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
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has 51.83 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
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has 51.58 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god
Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.
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has 51.56 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, health, science, sex
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
What do you call a blonde with pig tails? A blowjob with handlebars.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots. They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight. They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night. The next morning, the rabbits get to talking. "I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one. "I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second. "I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, food
Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
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has 50.96 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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