A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine. He will be my squishy." "Let go of my boob."
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
Yo moma is so fat, and so nasty, when she sat down on the toilet, grown men fall out of her screaming "We're free! We're free!"
Want to make a porno? We don't have to tape it.
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal? A head hunter!
Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
Yo mama ass so big your dad's dick gets lost in it.
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband. When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties. "Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!" The old man says, "Hell no, woman. It done ate a hole in your drawers!"