The best dirty jokes

Your mama is so stupid, when she lost her dildo she called the cops to look for it.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, sex, stupid, Yo mama
Little Johnny walks into his parent's room one night to find them having sex. "Mom? What are you doing?" he asks his mom. "Making a cake" his mom replies. Later that week, Little Johnny walks asks his mom in the car "Were you and daddy making a cake on the couch" he asks. "Yeah. Why?" his mom asks, confused and worried. "Because I licked the icing off the couch! It was delicious!" he responded.
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has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, little Johnny, sex
What's the difference between a condom and a coffin? You come in one and you go in the other!
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has 50.34 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dirty
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom? Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, sex, women
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
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has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, military, navy
One day a mom and her son went to the zoo. There they saw two monkeys having sex. The son asked "What are they doing?". The mom said "Ohh they are making frosting", then they saw hippos doing it then he said "Mom what are they doing?" "Making frosting" she said. Later that night he saw there mom doing it. In the morning he said "Mom you and dad were making frosting so i ate it!"
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has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What's the only thing white girls swallow? Starbucks.
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
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has 50.09 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: dirty
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
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has 50.08 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, gay, sex
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
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has 49.99 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex, women
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