Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up?
Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
An old woman buys herself some bright red crotchless panties and goes home to surprise her husband.
When her husband comes home, she calls him into the bedroom and points to her new panties.
"Hey old timer," she says, "come and get some of this!"
The old man says, "Hell no, woman.
It done ate a hole in your drawers!"
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Me - Can you go to your moms room?
Friend - Yeah, why?
Me - I left my pants in there.
Friend - Fuck you!
In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks.
On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club.
When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said:
"Mine is 10 inches long"
The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing:
"Here isn't a suitable place for you."
The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."
Vote:
Yo mama so fat, when your dad tried eating your mom's pussy his head stuck in.
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men?
A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.