The best dirty jokes

There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom. The Marine goes to leave without washing up. The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands." The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
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has 50.61 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty, military, navy
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
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has 50.54 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex, women
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
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has 50.40 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What's the only thing white girls swallow? Starbucks.
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Q: Why did the Avon lady walk funny? A: Her lipstick.
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has 50.22 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
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has 50.08 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, gay, sex
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
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has 49.95 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Q: How are rape and an airplane similar? A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, kids, travel
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dirty, food
A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, doctor, medical, sex
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