The best dirty jokes

A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
Vote: has 44.53 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

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What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.
Vote: has 44.47 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

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There once was a girl named Pinkie who desired to have a little inky, when the notion of the motion was planted, in her dinky little head. With her butt in the air, while the man in the sidecar tattooed her derriere 100 miles per hour down I 45 to bike fest. Drunk and stupid and would not listen, smeared beyond recognition, she said it was Tinker Bell but we couldn't tell O well.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, driving, drunk, poems, stupid
Yo mama so fat when she uses a space shuttle as a vibrator.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!
Vote: has 43.93 % from 75 votes. Send joke:

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Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dirty, time, Yo mama
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
Vote: has 43.90 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, love, music, time
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?" "Fertilizer," the farmer replied. "What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy. "Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer. "You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
Vote: has 43.58 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
Q: What book do women like the most? A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
Vote: has 43.52 % from 51 votes. Send joke:

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Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
Vote: has 43.46 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama