Q: Why did the lumber truck stop?
A: To let the lumber jack off.
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls?
They're going to call her Old Spice.
Vote:
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
Vote:
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about.
I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old.
We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes.
I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
Do you work at a cattery?
Because I wanna be covered in pussy.
A man walks into his doctor's office and whines, "Doc, you've got to help me; I've got a strawberry stuck up my ass."
The doctor pulls out his prescription pad and says, "I've got cream for that!"
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever.
Me: What's that hunny?
Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk.
Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Vote:
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
Girls are like biscuits - they are tough until they get wet.