The best dirty jokes

Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
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has 52.77 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty
"Hey, I have a magic dildo for sale," he says. "What? There's no such thing," she replied. "No seriously, if you don't believe me try it out in the bathroom. All you have to say is 'magic dildo my pussy.'" A bit skeptical she agrees and takes the dildo to the bathroom. A few minutes later she comes out. "Wow, that was great!" She says. She ends up buying the dildo and leaves the store. On the drive home she starts to feel a little frisky and figures why not try out the magic dildo. Well she's really enjoying herself. The car is swerving and she rolls through a red. She ends up getting pulled over by a cop. After she rolls down her window she tells him the whole story. She explains about the magic dildo and the shop. The cop says, "Magic dildo my ass."
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has 52.58 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty, gay, sex
Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage. What will they use to set those guidelines? A growth chart.
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money, viagra
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables." The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer." The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, vulgar, work
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
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has 52.35 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: animal, dinosaur, dirty, lesbian
Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball? You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
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has 52.31 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
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has 52.25 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: dirty, god
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
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has 52.24 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: dirty, lesbian, sex, viagra
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
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has 52.23 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, life
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine. He will be my squishy." "Let go of my boob."
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has 52.05 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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