The best dirty jokes

A man goes to the doctor about the size if his penis. He says to the doctor "My penis is too small." Doctor gives the man some medicine, says "Drink this everytime you bump into something your penis will grow an inch." So the man thanks the doctor and leaves. He drinks the medicine on his way home he bumps into a lampot so his penis grew an inch. Just a little further down the road he bumps into an Indian guy. A thousand apologies, he penis grows one thousand inches, baffled by his extra long penis he decides to paint it red, hite and blue, and wrapped it round his neck, he decides to go to the cinema, he was watching a dirty movie, sat on the top of the row of seats, all of a sudden this voice comes on the speaker. "Can the man with the red white and blue scarf stop chucking ice cream to the people below?"

Q: Why can't scientists find a cure for AIDS? A: They can't get the laboratory mice to arse f*ck.

Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.

Q: How are women and a hurricane alike? A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.

Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.

Girls are like biscuits - they are tough until they get wet.

Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.

My girlfriend asked me for the 7th time in a row for me to smash raw... She must think I'm made of coat hangers.

What's the only thing white girls swallow? Starbucks.

Q: Why did the Avon lady walk funny? A: Her lipstick.