Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Q: What do you call a blonde at a golf course? A: The 19th hole.
Girls are like biscuits - they are tough until they get wet.
Two lepers playing poker, one threw his hand in, the other laughed his head off.
A kid came home from school and asked his dad, "Dad, I heard some kids talking about a thing called a vagina. What is a vagina, and what does it look like?" "Well, son, before sex it looks like a beautiful unopened rose." "Wow, what does it look like after sex?" "Well, son, have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonaise?"
"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine. He will be my squishy." "Let go of my boob."
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
There's a faggot between Y and I on your keyboard... look!
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?