Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don't have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.
Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
When Viagra first came out my wife and I decided to give it a go to see what all the fuss was about. I popped the pill and waited the 15 minutes and then it was on for young and old. We timed the performance to the minute and it all finally subsided at 3 hours and 17 minutes. I asked the missus what she thought and she simply stated that she couldn't understand what all the hype was about for an extra 17 minutes...
What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal? A head hunter!
Aaron Hernandez goes to prison as a tight end. He'll come out a wide receiver!
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
If you think your life is bad, how would you like to be an egg? You get laid once in life, you only get eatten once in life, It takes 4 min to get hard, but only 2 min. to get soft, you share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all the only chick who ever sat on your face was your mother. Pass this to someone who needs a good lay, sorry I mean day.