What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
What did the leper say to the prostitute? Keep the tip.
Three men are sitting at a campfire telling stories about their great endeavors. The first man talked about how to sucked out the venom of a snake and sucked it up with 50 degree alcohol. The second man called it a circus trick as he has gotten 3 gunshots towards the chest and he but the guns in half. They looked at the third guy wanting to hear his story. Only to see him stroking his cock with the glowing hot coals.
Q: What did one boob say to the other boob? A: "It is nice to see you partner."
Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.
What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end. A toothbrush with toothpaste
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"