What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
Q: What did I do in the bed last night.
A: Your mom.
Girl: Babe I just gotta a tattoo of a sea shell on my thigh can you hear the ocean?
*Pulls his head to her thigh*
Guy: Nope, But I sure can smell the fish.
A woman asks an agriculturalist: "Please, tell me what shall I do? I have a garden but nothing grows there, like flowers or vegetables."
The agriculturalist says: "You know, it is to dung the garden with a good fertilizer."
The woman says: "And wouldn´t it be better to plant the vegetables directly into the ass?"
What do you get when the Pillsbury Doughboy bends over?
Dough Nuts!
There is a Navy guy and a Marine in the washroom.
The Marine goes to leave without washing up.
The sailor catches up with him later and says, "In the Navy, they teach us to wash our hands."
The Marine replies, "In the Marines, they teach us not to pee on ours!"
We're like hot chocolate and marshmallows...
You're hot and I wanna be on top of you.
What do you call a blonde with pig tails?
A blowjob with handlebars.
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom?
Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
Vote:
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree?
Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.