The best disgusting jokes

Q: What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard? A: A new last name.
Vote: has 81.65 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, ethnic, wedding
What's the definition of bravery? A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!
Vote: has 81.57 % from 119 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, health
Jim and Lena were driving around the countryside when they ran over a skunk. "We better take the skunk to the vet, Lena. Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm." "But, Jim, what about the smell?" "Don't worry, Lena. The skunk will get used to it."
Vote: has 81.55 % from 182 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, doctor
Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants then..."
Vote: has 81.40 % from 484 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up a tobacco dip sample table. "This is your secret?" says the first guy. "Try some dip," says the third. They both take a little bit o' dip. "Ech!" says the second guy. "This tastes like s**t!" "It is s**t. Would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
Vote: has 80.97 % from 224 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, work
Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks." The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch." The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife." The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"
Vote: has 80.60 % from 237 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, dog, drunk, party, wife
A girl was a prostitute, but she did not want her grandma to know. One day the police raided a whole group of prostitutes at a sex party in a hotel and she was among them. The police took them outside and had all the prostitutes line up along the driveway. Suddenly the girl's grandma came by and saw her. "Why are you standing in line, dear?" she asked. Not willing to let her grandma know the truth, the girl told her that the policemen were passing out free oranges. "Why, that is awfully nice of them! I think I'll get some for myself," said the grandma. A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, he exclaimed, "Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?" Grandma replied, "Oh, it's easy, dear. I just take out my dentures and suck them dry!"
Vote: has 80.59 % from 137 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, disgusting, family, party, sex
What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
Vote: has 80.48 % from 106 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, disgusting
Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?" A: It hasn't come out yet.
Vote: has 80.25 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting
You might be a redneck if you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner.
Vote: has 80.00 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, food, redneck