The best disgusting jokes

Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other? A: Together, we can stop this sh*t.
Vote: has 82.20 % from 176 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
Q: Why do men fart louder than women? A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Vote: has 82.20 % from 176 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, men, women
Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't. The guilt was overwhelming. But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave." But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
Vote: has 82.13 % from 283 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, morbid, sex
What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common? They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.
Vote: has 82.00 % from 122 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, disgusting
Once there was a little boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, "Mommy, I have to piss." The mother said, "Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite." The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom. He told his father, "Daddy I have to whisper." The father said, "OK. Here, whisper in my ear."
Vote: has 81.72 % from 215 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, dad, disgusting
Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word 'definitely' in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, "Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?" The Teacher says, "Of course not Johnny," To which Johnny replies, "Then I have definitely shit my pants then..."
Vote: has 81.67 % from 568 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, little Johnny, teacher
Three guys begin work at a toothbrush company as salesmen. Each day, two of the guys sell twenty toothbrushes each, and the third guy consistently sells two hundred. The other two guys are jealous, but they can't figure out his secret. Then, one day, they run into him at the mall, where he's set up a tobacco dip sample table. "This is your secret?" says the first guy. "Try some dip," says the third. They both take a little bit o' dip. "Ech!" says the second guy. "This tastes like s**t!" "It is s**t. Would you like to buy a toothbrush?"
Vote: has 81.37 % from 235 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, work
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie. When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture. The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month. A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie. With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise. The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog. After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music." "Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."
Vote: has 81.06 % from 165 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, disgusting, dog, men, music
Jim and Lena were driving around the countryside when they ran over a skunk. "We better take the skunk to the vet, Lena. Just put the skunk between your legs to keep it warm." "But, Jim, what about the smell?" "Don't worry, Lena. The skunk will get used to it."
Vote: has 81.04 % from 201 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, doctor
Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?" A: It hasn't come out yet.
Vote: has 80.87 % from 83 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting


<<<2345
More jokes →
Page 2 of 47.