Joke #6688

Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?" A: It hasn't come out yet.
Vote: has 80.42 % from 81 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Two cannibals just got their hands on a corpse. One says to the other, "I'll start at the head, you start at the feet." They start to eat, and after awhile the one at the head yells to the other one, "Hey, how's it going?" The other replies, "I'm having a ball!" Getting mad, the one at the head yells, "Dammit, slow down, you're eating too fast!"
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, food
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot? Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, dog, political
Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle? A: A Shih-Tzpoo.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. "Let me at him, I can help him," she says. "What can you do?" ask the rescue people. "We've tried everything to revive him, and it's too late." "I can," says the woman. "Stand back!" And she promptly takes off her panties, and crouches with her crotch over the man's face. Suddenly, the man coughs, splutters, and sits up. "What did you do?" ask the rescue people, amazed. The woman says, "Blood Transfusion."
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, disgusting, women
As she lay there dozing next to me a voice inside my head kept saying, "Relax, you are not the first doctor to sleep with one of his patients." But another voice kept saying, "Howard, you are a veterinarian."
Vote: has 72.07 % from 484 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, sex
An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie shop to purchase their most see-through item for his wife. After receiving some help from the store clerk, he bought a lace teddy for $600 and brought it home for his wife to try on. She took it upstairs and realized that it didn't quite fit. But, she figured, since it's supposed to be see-through and since he's almost blind, she might as well wear nothing at all. So she came downstairs completely naked. "Huh," said the old man, hugging her. "For the amount I paid, they could've at least ironed the damn thing."
Vote: has 78.30 % from 138 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, money, wife
Do you know what would be sick? If you sat in Santa's lap and you felt him get a boner. Do you know what would be even worse? If he stood up and you were still sitting in his lap.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting, wife
Once there was a little boy in church. He had to go to the bathroom so he told his mother, "Mommy, I have to piss." The mother said, "Son don't say piss in church. Next time you have to piss, say, 'whisper' because it is more polite." The next Sunday, the litle boy was sitting by his father this time, and once again, he had to go to the bathroom. He told his father, "Daddy I have to whisper." The father said, "OK. Here, whisper in my ear."
Vote: has 81.48 % from 206 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: church, dad, disgusting
A man farts in bed next to his wife. His wife asks, "What in the world was that?" He replies, "Touchdown. I'm winning, seven nothing." She decides to get even, so she lets one loose. He yells at her, "What was that?" She replies, "Touchdown, tie score." He wants to get her back, but he tries so hard he sh*ts in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides."
Vote: has 69.85 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport, wife