Q: Did you hear about the new movie "Constipation?"
A: It hasn't come out yet.
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Similar jokes
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One man says, "I can't believe they are still together after all that crap."
The other man says, "Who?"
The first man says, "Your butt cheeks."
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Question: If you went to a party and woke up with a condom in your ass would you tell anyone?
Answer: No!
Response: Wanna go to a party?
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An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.
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Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table.
Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body.
When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt.
Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy's butt.
Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place.
He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!"
Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery."
When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork.
Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
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That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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Mom! I'm a 3D printer!
Oh come on, Tommy, close the door when you poop.
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Q: What's the difference between hockey player and hippie girl?
A: Hockey player will take shower after 3 periods.
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This is a visual joke.
Blow some cigarette smoke into a shoe, what do you have?
A palestinian waiting for the bus.
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Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison?
A: "I feel like a kid again."
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