The best disgusting jokes

Q: What do you get when you mix beans and onions? A: Tear gas.
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has 76.89 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food
A farmer and a son live on a farm. The farmer is sitting in the kitchen when his son comes in from the barn with a large glass of white liquid. He is so excited because he's just milked a cow. Then he takes a big drink from the glass. His father just stares at him. "Son, we don't have a cow. We have a bull."
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has 76.75 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Q: Why there are many bubbles on the pool's water? A: Swimmers are farting.
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has 76.08 % from 265 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, sport
I am a dog And you are a flower. I lift my leg up And give you a shower.
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has 75.83 % from 312 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, poems
A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's arse was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."
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has 75.77 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor
Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, "Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks." The second guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch." The third guy says, "I was so drunk last night, I took a prostitute home to my wife." The first guy exclaims, "You guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog!"
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has 75.72 % from 324 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, dog, drunk, party, wife
Two old ladies are at the movies. "Psst," says one old lady. "I think the guy next to me is beating off." "What makes you say that?" "He's using my hand."
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has 75.69 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people
A drunk guy is sitting at a bar by himself one night and throws up all over the front of his shirt. "Oh great, my wife is going to kill me," he mumbles to himself. The guy sitting next to him sees what has happened and leans over towards him, "Hey buddy, just put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket and when you get home tell your wife the guy sitting next to you threw up on you and he gave you $20 to get your shirt cleaned." Completely inebriated the drunk man thanks his new friend and puts a twenty in his shirt pocket and heads for home. As soon as he walks through the front door his wife becomes irate and starts yelling at him, "Where have you been? you're completely drunk and you're a mess. Look at yourself, you puked all over the front of your shirt." Completely wasted and slurring his words he explains to the wife, "No no, the guy sitting next to me threw up on my shirt and he gave me $20 to get it cleaned. Look, it's right here in my shirt pocket." The wife reaches into his pocket and pulls out the money, "There's $40 in here." "Oh yeah, he shit in my pants too."
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has 75.46 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, disgusting
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
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has 74.89 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship
Q: What do the Starship Enterprise & toilet paper have in common? A: They both circle Uranus searching for Klingons.
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has 74.89 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
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