A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico. "Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box." His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary. "That's not all," says the doctor. "You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"
Q: Why did the referee stop the leper hockey game? A: There was a face-off in the corner.
Q: What do you get when you put Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Doughboy together? A: A redhead with a yeast infection.
A little old lady sits at the luncheonette counter and orders a hamburger. The huge guy behind the counter bellows, "One burger!" Whereupon the chef grabs a huge hunk of chopped meat, stuffs it in his bare armpit, pumps his arm a few times to squeeze it flat, and then tosses it on the grill. "That's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen," the old lady says. "Yeah?" says the counterman. "You should be here in the morning when he makes the doughnuts."
What's small, and red, and full of holes? A baby on a bed of nails.
Two men work in a mortuary. One says to another, "You should see that woman they brought in today. She'd been in the water for a week. Her clit was like a pickle." "Ew!" says the other fellow. "It was green?" "No, it was sour!"
How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies? He ate his way out.
When is the best time to bury that baby you killed? When it starts talking to you again.
A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."