The best doctor jokes

Patient: "Doctor, I want to thank you for your great medicine." The doctor was very much pleased. He asked: "Did it really help you?" Patient: "It helped me wonderfully." Doctor: "How many bottled did you find it necessary to take?" Patient: "I did not take any of it. My uncle took one bottle and I am his sole heir."
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, money
An 87-year-old man chats with his doctor: "So, I'm getting married again next week, doc!" "Oh, that's wonderful! And how old is the bride?" "She's 19." "That's fantastic – but I have to warn you, too much action in the bed can be deadly!" "Ah well, if she dies, I'll just have to remarry."
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has 66.77 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, doctor, marriage, old people
A man and his wife go to the doctor to see how they could improve their sex life. The doctor recommends Viagra. They come back and see him in a couple of weeks. The doctor says "how was the Viagra?" The wife says "great I love it." Husband says "I like it but it has some side effects, we're bared from McDonald's for life."
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has 66.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, sex, viagra
I don't understand why people pay shrinks when I'll tell them what's wrong with themselves for free.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Man goes to the doctors and sayes "Doctor, I cant stop my hands from shaking !" Doctor replies "Do you drink much ?" Man says "no, I spill most of it !"
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, doctor
A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, food, women
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, family
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, Halloween
A woman is very overweight and goes to see a weight therapist. The woman asks for some good advices. The therapist answers like this: "Well you just need to turn your head to the right and to the left when someone asks you if you want to eat at McDonalds."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, fat, food, women
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