The best doctor jokes

A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, Doctor, says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!" says the doctor, "I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”
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More jokes about: doctor, health, money
A Grandmother was checking out her grand-daughters grasp of colours and tested her regularly. She would ask her and the grand-daughter would always get the colour right. One day as we were heading to the doctors she turned to her Grandma and said "Don’t you think it’s time you tried to figure some of these out for yourself?"
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More jokes about: doctor, old people
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, health, life
Doctor (to an absent-minded patient): "What is wrong with you?" Patient: "I am losing my memory. Please prescribe some medicine." Doctor (Handing him the prescription after a while): "Here, Take this." Patient: "Why are you giving me this prescription? I am perfectly all right."
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More jokes about: doctor, drug, health, memory, old people
Doctor (to a patient): "You must take four tea-spoonfuls of this medicine before every meal." Patient: "Doctor, we’ve only 3 spoons at home."
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More jokes about: doctor, food, life
Patient: "I am sorry to call you to my house so far away from your chamber at this time of night." Doctor: "Don’t worry. I have another patient near here. So I can Kill two birds with one stone."
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More jokes about: death, doctor, life
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?" Patient: "I think I’m a chicken." Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?" Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
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More jokes about: animal, doctor
Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, doctor
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
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More jokes about: black humor, doctor, family
A woman who was beaten black and blue, went to the doctor. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. Whenever your husband comes home inebriated, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle." Two weeks later she returns to the doctor,and looks reborn and fresh again. Woman: "Doc, That was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled with chamomile tea and gargled and nothing happened." Doctor: "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps!"
Vote: has 64.29 % from 91 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, drunk, husband, marriage, women