The best doctor jokes

Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?" Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
has 66.50 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health
Yo' Mama is so poor, my jack-o-lantern gets better dental work then she does.
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, work, Yo mama
A man working with an electric saw accidentally saws off all 10 fingers. He rushes to the emergency room. The doctor says, "Give me the fingers and I'll see what I can do." "But I don't have the fingers!" "Why didn't you bring the fingers?!" asks the incredulous doctor. "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."
has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, work
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common? A: Wet noses.
has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, dog
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter." Responses: American: "Keep trying!" Briton: "Change Doctor!" Aussie: "Follow a special diet." Indian: "Practice yoga!" Pinoy: "Let me try!"
has 66.44 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: couple, doctor, food, kids
Yo' Mama is so ugly, when she were born, the doctor didn't know which end to slap.
has 66.17 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: doctor, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad. His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ? The logician replies: "yes".
has 66.15 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: baby, dad, doctor, math, wife
A doctor told his patient that his test results indicated that she had a rare disease and had only six months to live. "That's such a short amount of time, doctor. Isn't there anything I can do?" pleaded the patient. "Marry a lawyer," the doctor advised. "It will be the longest six months of your life."
has 66.15 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, lawyer, marriage, time
Rabbit: "Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?" Doctor: "Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another."
has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, doctor, food
Doctor: "And how is it going with your old ailment, Mr Smith?" Patient: "Very well, I've been divorced for half a year now."
has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: divorce, doctor, life, relationship
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