The best doctor jokes

A woman goes to a doctor, doctor, I'm tired of life, want to finish my life, what is best to kill myself? The doctor says: "Should yourself 5 cm under your breast, you will be dead!" 2 weeks later, woman back at doctors, what happened? I shot myself into my knee.
Vote:
has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life, medical, time, women
What happened to the chinese man who walked into a wall with a boner? He smashed his his nose. Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken... A girl went into a doctors office with a Strawberry up her ass, The doctor said I've got some "Cream" For that. Why was the washing machine laughing? Because it was taking the piss out the underpants. What do you do with a years worth of used condoms? Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear. What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus! A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock. A lady asks "What are you dressed as?" He says a fireman! You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can. One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."
Vote:
has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, car, doctor, sex
"Doctor I feel like biscuits!" "What, you mean those square ones?" "Yes!" "The ones you put butter on?" "Yes!" "Well, that means you’re crackers!"
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, doctor
A woman goes to the gynecologist for the first time and is awfully nervous. When the doctor comes into the examining room, he notices immediately that she's very tense. "Listen, dear. I know this must be scary for you. Do you want me to give you some thing to numb you down there?" The girl doesn't say anything, but just nods her head yes. So the doctor removes her underwear, puts his mouth in her crotch. "Numb, numb, numb, numb, numb..."
Vote:
has 64.51 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor
A man went to visit his doctor. “Doc, my arm hurts bad. Can you check it out please?” the man pleads. The doctor rolls up the man’s sleeve and suddenly hears the arm talk. “Hello, Doctor, says the arm. “Could you lend me twenty bucks please? I’m desperate!” “Aha!" says the doctor, "I see the problem. Your arm is broke!”
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, money
Chuck Norris doesn't go to therapy, therapy goes to Chuck Norris.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, doctor
The woman comes with her husband to the psychiatrist and tells the psychiatrist: "Please, do something with my man, because he thinks of himself that he is a horse." The psychiatrist says: "Oh, it will be a long and expensive therapy." The woman: "Ok, don´t worry, we can enough money because my husband has already won three times the horse racings."
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: doctor, horse, marriage, money
A Grandmother was checking out her grand-daughters grasp of colours and tested her regularly. She would ask her and the grand-daughter would always get the colour right. One day as we were heading to the doctors she turned to her Grandma and said "Don’t you think it’s time you tried to figure some of these out for yourself?"
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, old people
Yo' Mama is so poor, my jack-o-lantern gets better dental work then she does.
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, work, Yo mama
<<<19202122
More jokes →
Page 19 of 32.