The best doctor jokes

Doctor: You have a disease, but we can treat it. Patient: What's the Cure? Doctor: It's an 80s rock band fronted by Robert Smith, but let's try to stay focused...
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has 61.91 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: doctor, music
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.” The gentleman replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: doctor, old people
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Doctor to woman: "What is the matter about your husband?" Woman: "He is worrying about MONEY." Doctor: "I think I can relieve him of that."
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: doctor, husband, money
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, family
Once a doctor dies. He was a heart specialist. At the funeral, his family members and friends make a special coffin on which there is a heart. A man laughs. Another man asks him why he laughed. He says, "I am a gyno I wonder what they will do on my funeral."
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has 61.48 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, doctor, family, funeral
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: doctor, geek, internet, IT, technology
Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises. "How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers. "It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied. "I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?" "No sir, our mother." "Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!" "I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."
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has 61.40 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: doctor, military, women
The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."
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has 61.36 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, sex
Dentist (to the patient: "For God’s sake, stop making those noises and waving your arms. I haven’t even touched your tooth yet." Patient: "Yes, I know. But u’re standing on my foot."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: doctor, god, life
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