The best doctor jokes

A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me." A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.” The gentleman replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!”
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: doctor, old people
Patient: "May I have a glass of water, doctor." Doctor: "Are you thirsty?" Patient: "No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
Q:Why is a doctor always calm. A: Because it has a lot of patients.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."
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has 61.94 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, sex
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, family
A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. Timmy stood up and said, "My mom is a doctor!" Sarah stood up and said, "My father is a professor!" Little Johnny stood up and said, "My dad is a piano player in a whorehouse!" The teacher couldn't believe what she's had just heard, so she made a point of calling Little Johnny's father that evening to discuss the situation. Little Johnny's father explained, "Actually, I'm a law attorney, but how am I supposed to explain that to a seven year old kid!"
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: doctor, lawyer, school, student, teacher
The psychiatrist asks his patient: "Do you really think that you are a horse?" The patient: "Yes." The Doctor: "Ok, it will be a long and expensive therapy." The patient: "It's ok, I have enough money." Doctor: "And how it is possible?" The patient: "Because I have won three times horse races."
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has 61.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: doctor, horse, money
What kind of doctor fixes broken websites? A URLologist.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: doctor, geek, internet, IT, technology
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