The best doctor jokes

Patient: "Doctor, I can’t sleep." Doctor: "Lie at of edge of your bed and you will sleep off."
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
A man with a bad rash on his hands went to his doctor. The latter examined his hands carefully for sometime and consulted many large volumes on his shelves. Finally, he asked the patient: "Have you had this trouble before?" He answered: "Yes." Doctor said: "You have again got it."
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.
Vote:
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
Vote:
has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
Vote:
has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, marriage, viagra, wife
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Vote:
has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, doctor, Halloween, morbid
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him, and then told him, "Listen, if you ever expect to cure your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you." "I know," said the man, "but I can’t. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
Vote:
has 51.93 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, marriage, wife
The retired man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. Everywhere I touch it hurts." The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow." The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. The doctor, surprised, then states, "Touch your head." The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Everywhere the guy touches he hurts like hell. The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc. and tells the guy to come back in two days. Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor declares, "We've found your problem." "Oh yeah? What is it?" asks the retiree. The Doctor remarks, "You've broken your finger!"
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: doctor, health, old people
A 90 year old women goes to the doctor. Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more. Well take these pills every day and come back in a week. Dr what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well! Oh very well , now about your hearing...
Vote:
has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, drug, old people
Man: When I bend my arm like this it hurts? Doctor: Well, stop doing it!
Vote:
has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: doctor, life
<<<25262728
More jokes →
Page 25 of 32.