The best doctor jokes

A 90 year old women goes to the doctor. Dr i can't stop farting, sure they don't smell and make no noise but still i can't take it any more. Well take these pills every day and come back in a week. Dr what did you do to me not only am i still farting now they smell as well! Oh very well , now about your hearing...
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, doctor, drug, old people
A patient to his friend: "I am taking rest cure." Friend: "What do you do?" Patient: "I sit every day for three hours in the waiting room of a very busy doctor."
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, life
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she visits the doctor, they need a forklift to get her on the examining table.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, fat, Yo mama
A patient comes to a doctor, who asks him: - Do you smoke? - No. - Do you drink? - No. - Do you eat fast food? - No. - Don't worry, I'll find something anyways...
Vote: has 50.45 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, doctor, life
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
Vote: has 49.76 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, doctor, marriage, viagra, wife
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through. The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?" The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, women
Doctor, doctor, should I surf the Internet on an empty stomach? No, you should do it on a computer.
Vote: has 48.69 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, doctor, internet, medical, technology
Noticing a mistake in St. Peter's roster, God calls Satan; "It seems you accidentally received some of my professionals down there: a teacher, a doctor and a farmer." "Yeah," Satan replies. "All the more for me!" God replies, "You better send them up here immediately." Satan says, "No way. I'm keeping them." God says, "Send them up here, or I'll sue the horns right off you." Satan laughs uproariously, "Yeah, right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?"
Vote: has 48.41 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, god, lawyer, teacher
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!” The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?” “No, I drove here.”
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, doctor