The best doctor jokes

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."
Vote: has 76.96 % from 179 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, sex
A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living. Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer. He puts the bad guys in jail." Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor. He makes all the sick people better." All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny. Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?" Johnny says: "My Dad is dead." "I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?" "He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
Vote: has 76.40 % from 448 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, doctor, lawyer, little Johnny, teacher
Q: How do you know your doctor is a vampire? A: He draws your blood from your neck with a straw!
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, Halloween
In the courtroom where I worked as a court reporter, a dentist was called as a witness. He took the oath a few feet from my desk, and I noticed his upraised arm was trembling, apparently from nervousness. After he finished, I couldn't resist saying softly, "Sit down, Doctor. This won't hurt a bit."
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dentist, doctor, work
"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?" "First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, doctor, health, kids
A pregnant woman is about to give birth. The doctor has her on the delivery table, legs up in the stirrups. Suddenly, he sees the top of a head push through. Then the baby pops its head out and says to the doctor, “Are you my dad?”. The doctor says, “No, I am your doctor!”. With that, the baby pops right back inside. “Damn!”, says the doctor. A short while later he sees the head push through again. “Are you my dad?”, asks the baby. “No, I am your doctor.”, he replies. Once again the baby vanishes back into his mother’s womb. The doctor turns to a nurse and says, “Nurse, get that baby’s father in here right away–we may have a situation on our hands!”. Moments later the baby’s father is in the delivery room, and the baby’s head once again pops out. “Are you my dad?”, the baby asks of the father. The father replies, “Yes, little baby, I am your father!” The baby then reaches up and begins poking his father in the forehead with his index finger–”How do you like that?”
Vote: has 76.19 % from 173 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, birthday, dirty, doctor, women
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Vote: has 76.19 % from 154 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Chuck Norris, doctor
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, family, work
Patient: "Doc, recently I've been very careless." Doc: "How? Give me an example." Patient: "Now I'm speaking with you, it seems that I'm talking to my dick."
Vote: has 76.02 % from 105 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, doctor, vulgar
Guy goes to his psychiatrist and says "I'm in love with my dog." "Well that is not so unusual, millions of people love their dogs." "But doctor, you don't understand. I'm physically attracted to my dog. I'm in love with my dog." "Well, is your dog male or female?" "Female, of course, what the hell do you think I am, queer?"
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, dog, love