Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner." Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!" But the man protested and replied: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".