The best dog jokes

Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner." Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog
Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
Vote: has 39.91 % from 73 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop, dog, racist
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday? A dead puppy!
Vote: has 39.62 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: birthday, black humor, dead baby, dog, morbid
Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, dog, marriage, men, women
Q: What do you call a chilly dog sitting on bunny? A: A Cold dog on a bun.
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop, dog
In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They were astonished and said: "What a clever dog!" But the man protested and replied: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, game, sport
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
Vote: has 29.98 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, food
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dog, husband, men
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog, drunk