I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn't.
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around. „What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
There are no bombs, Chuck Norris just jumps out of a helicopter and punches the ground.
Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
Why were men given larger brains than dogs? A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties. B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.