I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
The only thing written on Chuck Norris' passport is "It's me".
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
If Chuck Norris were a toy, everything about it would be hazardous.
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Little Johnny's teacher said, "Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's." Did you copy hers?, she asked. Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs? A:Right where you left him.