Joke #9480

I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.

Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.

Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.

Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"

Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.

If you stare at the ameican flag long enough you'll see a 3D image of Chuck Norris.

I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”

Chuck Norris doesn't need a security system. Chuck Norris is a security system.

I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.

A hunter was out with his dog Old Faithful when he sees a duck and shoots it down. Old Faithful runs and brings his back the duck. As the hunter reaches for the duck a forest ranger comes by snatches the duck out of Old Faithfuls mouth puts his finger in its ass pulls it out smells his finger and says "This here is a Wisconsin duck, do you have a license to shoot Wisconsin ducks?" The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Wisconsin duck. The officer says "thank you, sir, have a great day and leaves." The hunter then proceeds with Old Faithful when he sees another duck, takes as I'm and shoots it down. Old Faithful runs grab the duck and come back. The hunters about to grab the duck when the same forest ranger comes back, grabs the duck out of the dog's mouth take his finger puts it up the ducks ass, pulls it out smells his finger and says "This is an Ohio duck, have you got a license to shoot Ohio ducks, sir?" The hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for an Ohio duck. The officer looks at him and says, "I'm sorry sir, just doing my job, have a nice day," and leaves. Well, this kept happening over and over. Every time the hunter shot a duck and Old Faithful would bring it back, the Same forest ranger would be there to question the hunter if he had a license for all the different ducks he shot, and in his bewilderment seeing the hunter having all these different licenses for each duck. Well on the last duck the hunter shot and Old Faithful bringing it back, the Same forest ranger comes and triumphantly snatches the duck out of the dogs mouth, takes his finger puts it up the ducks ass, smells it and says "This here is a Canadian duck, have you got a license to shoot Canadian duck?" Exasperated, the hunter reaches into his wallet and pulls out a license for a Canadian duck. The forest ranger looks at the hunter and says, "you know sir, you've had a license for every duck you shot, tell me, where are You from?" The hunter turns around, drops his pants, bends over and says, "You tell me! You're the Expert!"

In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.