In my village, it is not usual, ordinary, even normal that somebody would go to work. Even though there is one person in our village who goes to work on a regular basis. In the morning when he goes to work the whole village accompanies him, men, women, children, grannies and grandpas and in the evening when he goes back from work the whole village welcomes him back. We all are smiling at him and we are waving at him with the bunches of purple lilac flowers for example during this period of time, April, May.
Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Your families are extremely proud of you. You can't imagine the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a most opportune time to ask for money.
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
"Yes brother," says Paddy. "Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick. "It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy. A month later Paddy calls Mick. "Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy. "That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick. "I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy. "And what did you call the boy?" "I called the boy De nephew."
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.
A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
My late grandfather always told me: "When there is a wind in your belly blow it out gently you feel a real comfort then look at the other's faces to see what are their reactions."
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Yo mamma so fat she broke your family tree.