The best family jokes

You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
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has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, life, school
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, Halloween, time
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.
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has 67.90 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, lawyer, money
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: age, family, men, money, women
You know you're a redneck when your mom, dad, aunt, and uncle are two people.
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has 67.69 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: family, redneck
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: family, friendship, insulting, school
Guilt is a dish best served by Mom.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: family
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.
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has 67.24 % from 440 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, racist
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
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has 66.87 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, dirty, family, kids
There is nothing fun about a funeral, but despite that, I had a good laugh at the following reaction by my two children. We, along with a bunch of other relatives, were following the hearse of my late great aunt. When my daughter, who always tends to focus on the morbid things in life raised the dreaded question, "Dad, what's going to happen to us when you die?" My son who was busy texting one of his friends at the time barely glanced up from his phone. "We'll go in the limousine dummy."
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: death, family, funeral, kids, phone
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