The best family jokes

You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
Vote:
has 68.63 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, life, school
When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, "Marc, with a C." Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
Vote:
has 68.60 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, family, stupid
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
Vote:
has 68.56 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, dirty, family, kids
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
Vote:
has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: age, family, men, money, women
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
Vote:
has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, family, redneck, sex
Guilt is a dish best served by Mom.
Vote:
has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: family
Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn't a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, "Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?" "Darling, I really didn't like it. After all those years, I've gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far to scratchy."
Vote:
has 67.57 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: birthday, family, little Johnny
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.
Vote:
has 67.13 % from 403 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, racist
When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. They say I'm a little rough around the edges.
Vote:
has 66.88 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, money, school, teacher
You know you're a redneck when your mom, dad, aunt, and uncle are two people.
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: family, redneck
<<<10111213
More jokes →
Page 10 of 20.