You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight. It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "So, why is their dad carrying that rifle?"
Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.
You know you're a redneck when your mom, dad, aunt, and uncle are two people.
Yo mamma so fat she broke your family tree.