Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza
A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
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If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor?
They were given a right roasting.
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Get bad marks, relatives will insult you.
Get good marks, friends will insult you.
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I'm going trick or treating with my mum tonight.
It's the only time I can take her out as she's been dead for ten years.
Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday.
But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn't a sign of it in the bathroom.
Little Johnny asked his Grandma, "Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?"
"Darling, I really didn't like it. After all those years, I've gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far to scratchy."
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Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree.
He's been hanging there for quite a while.
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For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn.
The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter.
Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short.
There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!
"Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried.
"I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"
"Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."