Get bad marks, relatives will insult you. Get good marks, friends will insult you.
"Are you two twins?" "No, why do you ask?" "Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes." "OK that's enough, your driver's license please."
Yo mamma so fat she broke your family tree.
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree. He's been hanging there for quite a while.
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.