The best family jokes

I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, food, health, hospital
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, food, religious, Yo mama
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!" "What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly. Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
Vote: has 62.37 % from 80 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: computer, dad, family, IT
A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out. One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time. In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he d continue searching for a while. Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him. "However did you find him?" asked Father Skunk. "In-stinct," replied Out.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, family
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, family, geography, life, money
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, family, food
Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn't a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, "Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?" "Darling, I really didn't like it. After all those years, I've gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far to scratchy."
Vote: has 61.50 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, family, little Johnny
Q: What do you call an Asian family tree? A: A rice bush.
Vote: has 61.36 % from 60 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, family, food, life, racist
A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts. "I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!" "That’s okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway."
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chocolate, disgusting, family, food
Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
Vote: has 59.93 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: Facebook, family


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