The best family jokes

When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Vote:
has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, family
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common? Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
Vote:
has 64.05 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, family
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
Vote:
has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: baby, family, holiday, lawyer, marriage
Your mama is so ugly that I guess you can say that the genes passed down.
Vote:
has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: family, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people
Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl? A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
Vote:
has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, dirty, family, stupid
A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
Vote:
has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, family, mexican
Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "So, why is their dad carrying that rifle?"
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: church, family, Thanksgiving
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: family, Fathers day, holiday
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
Vote:
has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: family, food, health, hospital
<<<12131415
More jokes →
Page 12 of 19.