Q: Why is a sheep better than a woman? A: A sheep doesn't care if you fuck her sister.
Would you take a bullet for the last person you had sex with? Anything for the family.
Your theeth are so yellow when you opend the popcorn packet it said "We are family."
A conversation among my Children's Church a while back. A little girl announced proudly to our class one day, "My mommy has a baby in her belly!" The little boy next to her was mortified! "Why did your mommy eat a baby!"
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the second fan. "If they made more of an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, I'd be supporting a decent team."
At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear. The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?" The baby bear replied, "No he beats me." The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear! The baby bear said, "No she beats me too." The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?" The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.