The best family jokes

A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
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has 71.80 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, marriage, redneck
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: family, mean
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
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has 71.46 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: family, life, work
"Are you two twins?" "No, why do you ask?" "Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes." "OK that's enough, your driver's license please."
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, cop, driving, family
You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
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has 70.77 % from 334 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, fat, Yo mama
"Yes brother," says Paddy. "Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick. "It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy. A month later Paddy calls Mick. "Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy. "That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick. "I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy. "And what did you call the boy?" "I called the boy De nephew."
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: baby, business, family, kids
You have committed the grave tactical blunder of acquiring enough university credits to graduate. So now you're leaving college and embarking on the greatest adventure - and the biggest challenge - of your young lives: moving back in with your parents.
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, life, school
You know you're a redneck when your mom, dad, aunt, and uncle are two people.
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has 70.18 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: family, redneck
Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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has 69.90 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, little Johnny, school
Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "So, why is their dad carrying that rifle?"
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: church, family, Thanksgiving