"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, "Marc, with a C." Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.
My late grandfather always told me: "When there is a wind in your belly blow it out gently you feel a real comfort then look at the other's faces to see what are their reactions."
Johny has lately written a short email to his brother while asking him only one question in this email: Hi brother, I am writing to you, I only would like to know, tell me: How is your fianceé? The Johny´s brother reply was only: Hi John, her brother is doing well.
A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
Q: What do you call a family full of cancer patients? A: Jason Voorhees' relatives.