The best family jokes

When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, "Marc, with a C." Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, family, stupid
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts." Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
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has 70.72 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: communication, dad, dirty, family, kids
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
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has 70.70 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: age, family, men, money, women
My late grandfather always told me: "When there is a wind in your belly blow it out gently you feel a real comfort then look at the other's faces to see what are their reactions."
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: family, fart, health
"Anton, do you think I'm a bad mother?" "My name is Paul."
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: family, mean
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
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has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
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has 69.96 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: family, little Johnny, mean, old people, teacher
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: family, football, geography, management, sport
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.
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has 69.55 % from 366 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, racist
Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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has 69.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, little Johnny, school