The best family jokes

Yo mamma so fat she broke your family tree.
Vote: has 66.98 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, fat, insulting, Yo mama
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
Vote: has 66.77 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, family
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, family
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."
Vote: has 66.60 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, family, holiday, lawyer, marriage
Q: What is the diffrence between a black guy and a pizza A: A pizza can feed a family of four.
Vote: has 66.05 % from 505 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, family, food
Once Odhiambo a dark kenyan man was travelling to london by air sitting next to a white lady with his pet monkey. Oodhiambo stood up and went to the washrooms and when he came back he found his bunch of bananas missing. He asked the white lady "Sorry your brother here ate them all" she said while patting the monkey. After a while the lady got up and went to the washroom to come back and find his pet monkey dead She inquired on the matter, Odhiambo camly replied "I killed it." "Why?" asked the lady. He replied "This is family matter it doesnt concern you."
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, black people, family, racist, travel
Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, doctor, family
At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear. The judge asks the baby bear, "Do you want to live with papa bear?" The baby bear replied, "No he beats me." The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear! The baby bear said, "No she beats me too." The judge asked, "Then whom do you want to live with?" The baby bear says, "The Chicago bears, they don't beat anyone!"
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, family, sport
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, family, health, masturbation