The best family jokes

A single car crash kills a Mexican family. 15 people died.
Vote: has 55.11 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, family, mexican
On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony. The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight." "There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a virgin." Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter." "That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
Vote: has 54.63 % from 114 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, god, marriage, wedding
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, "Yes my little princess." The girl then continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, family, kids
A Catholic, a Baptist and a Mormon are bragging about the size of their families. "I have four boys and my wife is expecting another," says the Catholic. "One more son, and I'll have a basketball team," "That's nothing," says the Baptist. "I have 10 boys now, and my wife is pregnant with another child. One more son, and I'll have a football team." "That's nothing," says the Mormon. "I have 17 wives. One more wife, and I'll have a golf course."
Vote: has 54.37 % from 130 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: catholic, family, marriage, sport, wife
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, family
Q: Hey, what's the jew doing in the ashtray? A: Family research.
Vote: has 53.62 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, family, jewish, war
Little Johnny's brother, Little Jimmy, was in the toilet throwing Johnny's toys in the toilet. Johnny saw his brother doing this and yelled "JIMMY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" His brother replied "Next time you'll think twice before you don't let me play with you." Little Jimmy threw a toy car in the toilet and said "Bye bye, racecars!" Little Johnny stuck little Jimmy head in the toilet saying "Bye bye brother!"
Vote: has 53.58 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, game, kids, little Johnny, mean
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
Vote: has 53.04 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, flirt, sex
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
Vote: has 52.93 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
Little Johnny returns from school and says: "Mam, in school we write dirty swear-words so often!" "But I hope you are not writing them, my son." "No, I'm dictating them!"
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, little Johnny, school