The best family jokes

Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: family, food, religious, Yo mama
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?" Me: "Mom."
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, time, work
My great grandson's class were asked to make a mothers day card for their mothers. On mothers day he presented this beautiful hand made a card to his mum... Hearts and kisses and wishing her Happy Mums Day on opening the card printed in bold letters was "DADS THE BEST"... Needless to say, his mum still loves him.
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, love, mean
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, family
Q: What do you call a family full of cancer patients? A: Jason Voorhees' relatives.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: family, health, medical
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common? Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, family
On the day of her wedding to Prince Edward, Sophie gets dressed and realizes that she forgot her shoes. Panic sets in until her sister loans her another pair of shoes. Unfortunately they are a bit too small and at the end of the night Sophie's feet are in agony. The rest of the Royal Family crowds around the door to the bedroom and they hear grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream. Eventually, they hear Edward say, "God, that was tight." "There," whispers the Queen to the Duke, "I told you she was a virgin." Then, to their surprise, they hear Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one." Followed by more grunting and, "My God. That was even tighter." "That's my boy," says the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor."
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has 57.87 % from 126 votes. More jokes about: family, god, marriage, wedding
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, family, food
The judge: Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association? The inculpated: Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, hunting, lawyer
A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck. The father says "okay, you know what to do." Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick." The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
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has 57.03 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, family, redneck, sex
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