The best family jokes

It seemed that the son of a Spanish lawyer graduated from college and was considering the future. He went to his father, who had a very large office, and asked if he might be given a desk in the corner where he could observe his father's activities. He could be introduced to his father's clients as a clerk. This way, he could decide on whether or not to become a lawyer. His father thought this to be a splendid idea, and this arrangement was set up immediately. On his son's first day at work, the first client in the morning was a rough-hewn man with calloused hands, in workman's attire, who began the conversation as follows: "Mr. Lawyer, I work for some people named Gonzales who have a ranch on the east side of town. For many years I have tended their crops and animals, including some cows. I have raised, the cows, tended them, fed them, and it has always been my understanding and belief that I was the owner of the cows. Mr. Gonzales died and his son has inherited the farm, and he believes that since the cows were raised on his ranch and fed on his hay, the cows are his. In short, we have a dispute as to the ownership of the cows." The lawyer said, "I have heard enough. I will take your case. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!" After the tenant farmer left, the next client came in. A young, well-dressed man, clearly a member of the landed class. "My name is Gonzales. I own a farm on the east side of the town," he said. "For many years, a tenant farmer has worked for my family tending the crops and animals, including some cows. The cows have been raised on my land and fed on my hay, and I believe that they belong to me, but the tenant farmer believes that since he raised them and cared for them, they are his. In short, we have a dispute over ownership of the cows." "I heard enough. I'll take your case. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!" After the client left, the son came over to his father with a look of concern. "My father, I know nothing of the law, but it seems to me that we have a serious problem regarding these cows." "DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COWS!" said the lawyer. "The cows will be ours!"
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dad, family, lawyer, work
Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?" Me: "Mom."
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, time, work
My great grandson's class were asked to make a mothers day card for their mothers. On mothers day he presented this beautiful hand made a card to his mum... Hearts and kisses and wishing her Happy Mums Day on opening the card printed in bold letters was "DADS THE BEST"... Needless to say, his mum still loves him.
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has 58.77 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, love, mean
What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, family
Q: What do you call a family full of cancer patients? A: Jason Voorhees' relatives.
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: family, health, medical
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common? Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
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has 58.18 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, family
Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
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has 57.55 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, family
A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck. The father says "okay, you know what to do." Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick." The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
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has 57.27 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, family, redneck, sex
That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, family, food
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: family, food, health, hospital
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