The best family jokes

A redneck family shares one vehicle, the daughter asks her dad for the truck. The father says "okay, you know what to do." Then continues to lower his pants, the daughter says "daddy why's there shit on your dick." The father then replies "ohhhh, that's right honey, your brother has the truck."
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: car, disgusting, family, redneck, sex
Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, family
My mother has painted a picture with such cold colours that if I want to take a look at it closely, I must have an anorak, the gloves, the winter cap and a scarf on, not to freeze.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: family, winter
A black family of four, hears about a magical river that can turn them white if they swim across so they go and the dad and mom swim across, and they come out white, the daughter jumps in and swims across and she turn white, so the son trys to swim but the current takes him and the little girl goes up to dad and says, "Daddy, daddy, Philip just got taken by the current" and the dad says, "Oh, forget that nigga."
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has 53.49 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, sport, travel
Q: What does the BFI on the dumpsters stand for? A: Black Family Inside.
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has 53.38 % from 134 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, racist
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table. Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts. "I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!" "That’s okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway."
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, disgusting, family, food
There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, family, sex, time
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: family, food, health, hospital
The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
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has 52.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: death, family, school, sex, teacher
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