An American family has grandparents who live in Russia.
Every month, the grandparents send a package of powder to the American family.
The package always says: "Just add water."https://unijokes.com/
Every time the family does this the powder turns into a delicious soup.
The soups are always different and the family is always excited to find out which new foreign flavor they get to try out.
One day, the family receives a package in the mail containing some gray powder.
Assuming that this is another soup, the family dumps it into a pot and adds some water.
However, unlike all the other soups, this one t astes grainy and disgusting.
The family still eats it though just to be polite.
A week later, a letter from the grandpa comes in the mail saying: "Grandma Taya has died and I have sent the ashes to you. She wants to be scattered in America as that is her favorite place."
The teacher had given the class an assignment.
He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family.
A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?"
The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."
Father: In life you can never be certain about anything.
Son: Really dad, are you sure?
Father: I'm certain.
Once Odhiambo a dark kenyan man was travelling to london by air sitting next to a white lady with his pet monkey.
Oodhiambo stood up and went to the washrooms and when he came back he found his bunch of bananas missing.
He asked the white lady "Sorry your brother here ate them all" she said while patting the monkey.
After a while the lady got up and went to the washroom to come back and find his pet monkey dead
She inquired on the matter, Odhiambo camly replied "I killed it."
"Why?" asked the lady.
He replied "This is family matter it doesnt concern you."
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A man visits his aunt in the nursing home.
It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few magazines, and munches on some peanuts sitting in a bowl on the table.
Eventually, the aunt wakes up, and her nephew realizes he’s absentmindedly finished the entire bowl of peanuts.
"I’m so sorry, auntie, I’ve eaten all of your peanuts!"
"That’s okay, dearie," the aunt replied. "After I’ve sucked the chocolate off, I don’t care for them anyway."
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The judge:
Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?
The inculpated:
Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree.
He's been hanging there for quite a while.
Vote:
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground.
The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at.
The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing.
They father replies that the two spiders are having sex.
It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other.
The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg.
The father says that they're both daddy long legs.
The son stomps on them, killing them.
The father asks why he did that.
The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
Q: What does the BFI on the dumpsters stand for?
A: Black Family Inside.
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