The best family jokes

Johny has lately written a short email to his brother while asking him only one question in this email: Hi brother, I am writing to you, I only would like to know, tell me: How is your fianceé? The Johny´s brother reply was only: Hi John, her brother is doing well.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, family, wedding
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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has 52.23 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: family, flirt, sex
Father: In life you can never be certain about anything. Son: Really dad, are you sure? Father: I'm certain.
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has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: family
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, mean, money
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, food
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
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has 49.52 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, family, little Johnny, teacher
Two guys are talking about their boss's upcoming wedding. One bloke says, "It's ridiculous, he's rich, but he's 95 years old, and she's just 24! What kind of a wedding is that?" The other says, "Well, we have a name for it in my family." "What do you call it?" "We call it a football wedding." The first asks, "What's a football wedding?" The other says, "She's waiting for him to kick off!"
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: age, family, sport, wedding
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
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has 49.30 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex
A school bus driver stopped the vehicle to take little George out. The kid opened the door and saw his grandmother reaching her hands to grab him. The driver though, to make sure that that person is really a family member, asks the kid. "Is this really your grandmother?" "Yes. She visits every Christmas!" "Very good! And when she stays at he rest of the year?" the driver insists. "At the airport!," says the kid and continues, "Whenever we feel like, we go there and we take her home..."
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Christmas, family, kids
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