The best family jokes

Q: What does the BFI on the dumpsters stand for? A: Black Family Inside.
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has 51.19 % from 165 votes. More jokes about: black people, family, racist
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
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has 50.97 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
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has 50.15 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty, family, kids, sex
One day a family is wondering what to cook for dinner. They have many ideas but each idea doesn't sound good. Eventually, they go to the living room to watch tv when all of a sudden a knock at the door. The mother answers it and it's a nun saying she's going door to door giving out soup to families. She takes the bag of soup and thanks to the nun. They all go to the kitchen and grab a bowl and then pour the soup into bowls. The father says "this soup stinks!" The mother says "honey a nun brought it to us be grateful." The father then tastes it and says "ew it tastes like shit" and the mother say s "honey just keep eating." After they finish they go to the living room and the news is on. The reporter says "the man dressed as a nun delivering raw sewage door to door has been caught" they all puked.
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has 49.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: family, food, mean, religious, vulgar
Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
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has 49.00 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: family, flirt, sex
One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner". And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"
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has 48.95 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, elf, family, food
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on Little Lisa, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Lisa," replied the teacher. She then called on Little Tommy. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny... Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!"
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has 48.93 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: beauty, communication, family, little Johnny, teacher
Q: What do you call a holy redneck with absolutely no family? A: The Sole inbred.
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has 48.79 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: family, racist, redneck
Cannibal Son: Mom, I don't like my brother anymore. Cannibal Mother: You shut up and eat!
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, food
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
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has 48.59 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, family
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