If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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A daughter wakes up at 3 a.m. and asks her mother:
"Mummy, tell me a fairy-tale."
"Daddy will get back soon and he will tell both of us a fairy tale..."
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Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10.
And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10".
The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"
When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
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Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child.
The bed went itself out of fear.
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Martin had just received his brand new drivers license.
The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time.
Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver.
"I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father.
"Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."