If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
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When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
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Jesus is the son of God.
God is the son of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris helps little old ladies cross the street...
Bad guys get kicked to the curb!
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Chuck was once on the Olympics and he won all the medals but he was disqualifyed for roundhouse kicking the judges because they misspelled his name.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
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Q: Who is the saddest grandma in the world?
A: Grandma of a vegan.
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While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him.
Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"
"What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly.
Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
Me: "I only smoke weed because of Cancer."
Mom: "You don't have Cancer!"
Me: "So it's working..."
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest?
I don't know he is still busy.
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That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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