Joke #6370

If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.

When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.

Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.

Son: "Mom, I love you so much!" Mother: "I don't have any money, try it with your dad."

The reason Chuck Norris has never been a doctor on House is because, he would find the diagnosis in one second. It'd always be Norris Anger Disease.

A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is tobe her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud,but everyone at the table heard thepouf. Before she even had a chanceto be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!". The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!" Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!". A few minutes laterthe woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing! Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled,"Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!"

Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.

Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.

Chuck Norris can make a snowman with sand.

My mother has painted a picture with such cold colours that if I want to take a look at it closely, I must have an anorak, the gloves, the winter cap and a scarf on, not to freeze.

A girl married with a man who had only one foot. Next day her mother rang her and asked: "My little tell me how did U feel the marriage?" Her daughter replied: "Woo real splendid; alas he has only one foot!" Her mom answered: "You must be too lucky, when I married your dad; he had only one inch!"