Joke #6370

If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.

When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.

Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.

If Clint Eastwood told Chuck Norris to get off his lawn... Chuck would get the hell off his lawn!

On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.

You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.

Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face. Nobody would survive anyway.

Did you hear about the cannibal family who were caught spying by the witch-doctor? They were given a right roasting.

The teacher had given the class an assignment. He stressed the importance of this particular assignment, and that no excuses would be accepted except illness or a death in the immediate family. A smart-ass student pipes up: "What about extreme sexual exhaustion, sir?" The class breaks up laughing, and when they settle down the teacher responds with: "Well, I guess you'll have to learn to write with your other hand."

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway, and climbs in the car, where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat, directly behind the newly minted driver. "I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive," says the beaming boy to his father. "Nope," comes dad's reply, "I'm gonna sit here and kick the back of your seat as you drive, just like you've been doing to me all these years."

Chuck Norris's black belt was made in a black hole.