If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris watches TV it changes the channel for him when he asks just out of fear.
Yo Momma is so fat… That she broke a branch in her family tree!
Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."
A father tells his son to stop jacking off. "You'll go blind if you do that too much!" he says. The son says "uh, I'm over here dad."
The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.