The best family jokes

You're a redneck if: -You have more fingers than you do teeth -You cut your grass and find a car -You consider Denny's a Fancy Resturant -Your best Suit contains more than 5 colors -Your age is higher than your I.Q. -Your favorite pickup line is "Does this look infected to you?" -You ask your wife whether the spot on your neck is a boil or a mole and she replies "It's a gummy bear." -You have a family reunion and everyone in town shows up. -You say "Watch this" every time before you goto the hospital. -Your wife and ex-wife are sisters.
Vote: has 76.74 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, family, hospital, redneck, stupid
A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby. He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered." When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?" His wife confessed, "Not this time."
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, couple, family, kids
This could be considered the ideal world for many men: His son on the cover of a box of Wheaties. His mistress in the centerfold of Playboy. A picture of his wife on the milk carton.
Vote: has 76.27 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beauty, black humor, family, life, men
Q: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A: The genealogist checks the family tree and the gynecologist checks the family bush.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, family, work
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, kids, lawyer, money
Q: What do two rednecks say after breaking up? A: Lets just be cousins.
Vote: has 75.94 % from 90 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, redneck, relationship
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?" ‘Well honey...' said the slightly prudish parent, "An Angel brought you to us." "Oh," said the boy. "Well, how did you and daddy get born?" he asked. "Oh, the angel brought us too." "Well how were grandpa and grandma born?" he persisted. "Well darling, the angel brought them too!" said the parent. Several days later, the boy handed in his paper to the teacher who read with confusion the opening sentence: "This report has been very difficult to write because there hasn't been a natural childbirth in my family for three generations."
Vote: has 75.92 % from 65 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, kids, teacher
A conversation among my Children's Church a while back. A little girl announced proudly to our class one day, "My mommy has a baby in her belly!" The little boy next to her was mortified! "Why did your mommy eat a baby!"
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, church, family, kids
My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104. We called her Aunt Tique.
Vote: has 75.27 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, family


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