The best family jokes

I've 3 aunts and 4 uncles in any ceremony of wedding they mention me : "oh , Bill you are enough grown up , the next time will be your turn." I also in payoff on funeral days tell them: "Woo you are enough old I hope next time would be your turn!"
Vote:
has 73.97 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: family, funeral, time, vulgar, wedding
My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104. We called her Aunt Tique.
Vote:
has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, death, family
Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
Vote:
has 73.58 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: cop, family, soccer, sport
You mama is so fat when we went to the beach the whales sang, "We are family."
Vote:
has 73.54 % from 317 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, fat, Yo mama
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".
Vote:
has 73.37 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: family, school, teacher, women
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the people. The nanny, we’ll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense," So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
Vote:
has 73.26 % from 273 votes. More jokes about: dad, family, kids, political
Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn't a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, "Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?" "Darling, I really didn't like it. After all those years, I've gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far to scratchy."
Vote:
has 72.70 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: birthday, family, little Johnny
"Are you two twins?" "No, why do you ask?" "Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes." "OK that's enough, your driver's license please."
Vote:
has 72.56 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, cop, driving, family
Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter? A: Sue. Q: And his son? A: Bill.
Vote:
has 72.54 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: family, kids, lawyer, money
*BOOM* Mum shouts: "What was that?" Me: "My coat fell." Mum: "It sounded a lot heavier than that!" Me: "I was in it."
Vote:
has 72.27 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: family, life