The best family jokes

When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. They say I'm a little rough around the edges.
Vote: has 74.21 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, graduation, money, school, teacher
Teacher: "Who can tell what is a mammal? Little Johnny: "My grand mother!"
Vote: has 74.17 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, little Johnny, mean, old people, teacher
Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
Vote: has 73.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, family, soccer, sport
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?
Vote: has 73.93 % from 105 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, family, marriage, sex, wife
There are an older brother and a younger sister. The sister went to the bathroom while the brother was in the bathroom. The sister asks the brother if she could play with his dick and he says yeah. A few weeks later there was a big storm and the sister goes to the brother's room and asked the brother if she could play with Mr.Cuddles he says no. Then the sister said that she would tell on him so a little pissed of he says yes. After a while, the parents hear a scream. They rush to the brother's room and asks the sister what happened she said "Mr.Cuddles spat on me so I bit his head off."
Vote: has 73.89 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, family, sex, time
Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".
Vote: has 73.88 % from 118 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: family, school, teacher, women
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Vote: has 73.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, family
The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, family, men, money, women
There is nothing fun about a funeral, but despite that, I had a good laugh at the following reaction by my two children. We, along with a bunch of other relatives, were following the hearse of my late great aunt. When my daughter, who always tends to focus on the morbid things in life raised the dreaded question, "Dad, what's going to happen to us when you die?" My son who was busy texting one of his friends at the time barely glanced up from his phone. "We'll go in the limousine dummy."
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, family, funeral, kids, phone
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex