The best family jokes

The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. "Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves." "Well, how much does a brain cost?" asked the relatives. "For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000." Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, but all the men nodded because they thought they understood. A few actually smirked. But the patient’s daughter was unsatisfied and asked, "Why the difference in price between male brains and female brains?" "A standard pricing practice," said the head of the team. "Women’s brains have to be marked down because they have actually been used."
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, family, men, money, women
A redneck boy runs into his house and proclaims, "I've found the girl that I'm gonna marry! And she's a virgin!" Incensed, his father pounds his fist on the table. "There's no way you'll marry that girl! If she aint' good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
Vote: has 70.33 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, family, marriage, redneck
Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree. He's been hanging there for quite a while.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 68 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, black people, family
Q: What do two rednecks say after breaking up? A: Lets just be cousins.
Vote: has 70.02 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, redneck, relationship
Thanksgiving Day was approaching, and a family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on its way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing, "The pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers." "Oh, yeah?" her grandson replied, "So, why is their dad carrying that rifle?"
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, family, Thanksgiving
I took my wife's family out for biscuits and tea. They weren't very happy about having to donate blood though.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, food, health, hospital
Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, family, little Johnny, school
Q: Whats the diffrence between a park bench and a black guy? A: The park bench can support a family.
Vote: has 69.30 % from 293 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, family, racist
Police have found the body of a man in the Thames wearing a Chelsea shirt, womens underwear, fishnet stockings, suspenders and with an extra large dildo stuck up his arse. They have removed the Chelsea shirt to save the family any embarrassment ...
Vote: has 67.89 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, family, soccer, sport
What is the perfect Father's Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, Fathers day, holiday