The best fart jokes

Q: What's the difference between a freezer and a fag? A: A freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Vote: has 51.00 % from 53 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Fart Glossary: ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas. ARROGANT FART= When you think your farts don't stink. ASSUALT FART= A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse. TIRE FART= You can't control the blow out. BEER FARTS= These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer. JAIL FART= Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape. DONKEY FART= Your ass is the only one that can do it. GHOST FART= You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it. HOME ALONE FART= When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one. SHOE FART= When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes. TANK FART= When you refer to your farts as 'gas'. OLD FART= You know how old it is by how bad it smells. BRAIN FART= You need to fart, but nothing comes out. ALZHEIMER FART= A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp. NOT-ME FART= When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!" U.F.O. FART= When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, disgusting, fart
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Depending on the circumstances, Chuck Norris will decide whether or not his farts will stink. If he chooses to have them stink, he will then also determine the appropriate percentage level of rankness delivered based on the demographics of the attending audience.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fart
Why should you only put 239 beans in bean soup? Cuz one more will make it "too farty!"
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Vote: has 48.03 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, marriage, sex
What do you call it when someone farts in a Gay Bar? Mating call
Vote: has 45.04 % from 153 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, gay
Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
Vote: has 43.21 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fart
A guy says, "Doc, you gotta help me. Every time I fart, it sounds like, "Honda." The doctor says, "You say, 'Honda?'" "No," the guy says. "My farts do." So, the doctor says, "OK, open your mouth," and looks inside. After about two minutes, the doctor says, "I'm sorry, I can't help you, you need to go see a dentist." The guy says, "Why a dentist?" The doctor says, "Because you have an absessed tooth." The guy says, "What the hell does that have to do with my condition?" The doctor says, "Well, didn't you know? Absess makes the farts go Honda!"
Vote: has 42.03 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, fart