The best fart jokes

A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot
Three little boys were sitting around talking about their fathers. The first boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings." The second boy said, "My dad can blow smoke rings out of his nose." The third boy said, "Well, my dad can blow smoke rings out of his butt." The first and second boys where amazed. The second boy said, "Have you seen him do it?" "No," said the third boy, "but I've seen the tobacco stains on his underwear."
has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: dad, disgusting, fart
A family brings their elderly mother to a nursing home. The nurses bathe her and set her in a chair at a window. After a while, she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately straighten her up. Again, she starts to tilt to the other side. The nurses rush back to put her upright. This goes on all morning. Later, the family arrives and asks, "Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," the old woman replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, family, fart, nurse, old people
Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.
has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, fart, Yo mama
Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight? Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board, and I'll sit on the couch while drinking beer and farting.
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beer, fart, husband, life, wife
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: fart, men, women
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: fart, insulting, money, Yo mama
You are so old, you fart dust.
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: age, fart, insulting
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
has 59.08 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
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