The best fart jokes

Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, men, women
Yo momma so poor I farted in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, god, money
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
Vote: has 62.88 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food, gay
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, fart, insulting, Yo mama
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Vote: has 60.24 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 60.15 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, fart, Yo mama
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, fart
Two gay men are walking down the street trying to bum a ride. A truck driver picks them up. After a while the first gay man asked in a very gay voice, "Please sir can I fart?" The truck driver then says, "Yeah sure who cares." So the gay guy goes "POOF". Then the second gay man asks if he can fart. The truck driver says he doesn't care and the second gay man went ''poof''. Then the big truck driver goes to the gay men and says, "Ok gentlemen can I fart?" The gay men say right on and the truckdriver lets it blow. The fart was huge and smelly and loud. The gay men then say, "He is obviously a virgin."
Vote: has 57.92 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart, gay
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
Vote: has 57.81 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, kids, little Johnny, school, teacher