The best fart jokes

A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
Vote: has 63.81 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, insulting, science, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, fat, insulting, Yo mama
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.
Vote: has 60.75 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, fart, Yo mama
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
Vote: has 59.79 % from 127 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
Vote: has 59.79 % from 40 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food, gay
You are so old, you fart dust.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, fart, insulting
Question: Why do men fart more than women? Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, men, women
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
Vote: has 57.98 % from 79 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, kids, little Johnny, school, teacher


<<<6789
More jokes →
Page 6 of 10.