Yo' Mama is so fat, when she farts, it comes out at the ankles of her tight-ass jeans.
Five liters of bean soup for dinner – let´s spend the night with the gas mask!
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Question: Why do men fart more than women?
Answer: Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
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If there are two people in an elevator and one of them farts everybody knows who did it.
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Being single is cool cause you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss.
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Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
What's gross?
Farting in the bathtub.
What's grosser than that?
Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
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A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.
The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"
The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over."
The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."
The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running.
About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.
The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third fucking rooster I bought this month."
Moral of this story?
Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
Yo mama is so old, that when she farts all that comes out is dust.