The best fart jokes

Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
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has 56.26 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: fart, kids, little Johnny, school, teacher
Yo momma so poor I farted in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: fart, god, money
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Yo' Mama is so dumb, if her brains were farts, there wouldn't be enough to stink.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: fart, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Why should you never fart in an apple store? They don't have Windows!
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has 54.89 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: fart, IT
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: car, fart, travel, Yo mama
Two gay men are walking down the street trying to bum a ride. A truck driver picks them up. After a while the first gay man asked in a very gay voice, "Please sir can I fart?" The truck driver then says, "Yeah sure who cares." So the gay guy goes "POOF". Then the second gay man asks if he can fart. The truck driver says he doesn't care and the second gay man went ''poof''. Then the big truck driver goes to the gay men and says, "Ok gentlemen can I fart?" The gay men say right on and the truckdriver lets it blow. The fart was huge and smelly and loud. The gay men then say, "He is obviously a virgin."
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has 52.91 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, gay
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