The best fart jokes

Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
If I wanted to hear from an a**hole I would fart.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.
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has 56.75 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart, food, gay
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
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has 56.43 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: fart, kids, little Johnny, school, teacher
Fart Glossary: ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas. ARROGANT FART= When you think your farts don't stink. ASSUALT FART= A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse. TIRE FART= You can't control the blow out. BEER FARTS= These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer. JAIL FART= Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape. DONKEY FART= Your ass is the only one that can do it. GHOST FART= You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it. HOME ALONE FART= When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one. SHOE FART= When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes. TANK FART= When you refer to your farts as 'gas'. OLD FART= You know how old it is by how bad it smells. BRAIN FART= You need to fart, but nothing comes out. ALZHEIMER FART= A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp. NOT-ME FART= When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!" U.F.O. FART= When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: beer, disgusting, fart
Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first bum, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell. He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you s**t your pants?'' "Hell no," Jeff said. They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse. "Did you s**t your pants, Jeff?" "I swear to the God almighty I did not s**t my pants," Jeff said. So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible. Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, "I thought you said you didn't s**t your pants?!" "I didn't." Jeff said. "They're your pants."
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has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: dog, fart, insulting, Yo mama
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
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has 54.10 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, fart
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: fart, insulting, money, Yo mama
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