The best fart jokes

Yo' Mama is so nasty, when her dog farts, she takes the credit.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dog, fart, insulting, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her farts are classified as biological weapons.
Vote: has 58.52 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, insulting, science, Yo mama
Little Johnny was at school one day when the teacher asked the kids if they could use the word definitely in a sentence. Well the first little girl raised her hand and said, "Well the trees are definitely green." The teacher said "No not really because the trees turn yellow red and brown in the fall." The next little boy raised his hand and said, "The sky is definitely blue." The teacher said, "No not really because the sky can be all different colors." From the back of the room little Johnny raised his hand and asked, "Do farts have lumps?" The teacher said, "No Johnny of course not, that’s silly." Then Johnny said, "Well then I definitely shit my pants!"
Vote: has 57.98 % from 79 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, kids, little Johnny, school, teacher
Yo' Mama is so dumb, if her brains were farts, there wouldn't be enough to stink.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, insulting, stupid, Yo mama
Yo mama farts so much there is a reason why Jupiter is made out of gas.
Vote: has 56.92 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: chemistry, fart, science, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, fart, travel, Yo mama
Yo momma so poor I farted in her house and she bowed her head, stomped her feet and praised the lord saying " we got heat".
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fart, god, money
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, fart
Three kids were smoking behind the shed. "My dad can blow smoke through his nose!" boasted the first. "Ha, mine can blow smoke through this ears!" countered the second boy. "That’s nothing," piped up the third. "My dad can blow smoke through his arse. I know,‘cos I’ve seen the nicotine stains on his undies."
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, fart, kids, weed
Two gay men are walking down the street trying to bum a ride. A truck driver picks them up. After a while the first gay man asked in a very gay voice, "Please sir can I fart?" The truck driver then says, "Yeah sure who cares." So the gay guy goes "POOF". Then the second gay man asks if he can fart. The truck driver says he doesn't care and the second gay man went ''poof''. Then the big truck driver goes to the gay men and says, "Ok gentlemen can I fart?" The gay men say right on and the truckdriver lets it blow. The fart was huge and smelly and loud. The gay men then say, "He is obviously a virgin."
Vote: has 53.58 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: disgusting, fart, gay


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