The best fart jokes

Once upon a time there were these two bums walking down the railroad tracks, and the first bum, Fred, thought he smelled a nasty old smell. He asked his companion, Jeff, ''Did you s**t your pants?'' "Hell no," Jeff said. They walked a few more miles and the smell got worse. "Did you s**t your pants, Jeff?" "I swear to the God almighty I did not s**t my pants," Jeff said. So they walk three more miles and the smell gets just horrible. Fred runs over and pulls down Jeff's pants and says, "I thought you said you didn't s**t your pants?!" "I didn't." Jeff said. "They're your pants."
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More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Fart Glossary: ART FART= it's such a beauty you want to immortalize it on canvas. ARROGANT FART= When you think your farts don't stink. ASSUALT FART= A sudden attack that shoots virtual flames out your arse. TIRE FART= You can't control the blow out. BEER FARTS= These come out of every 'can' and smell like warm beer. JAIL FART= Been doing time inside you for quite awhile, and finally makes its great escape. DONKEY FART= Your ass is the only one that can do it. GHOST FART= You can't hear it, you can't see it, and you can't smell it. HOME ALONE FART= When you're home alone and a great one is wasted on no one. SHOE FART= When you bend over to tie your shoe laces and one escapes. TANK FART= When you refer to your farts as 'gas'. OLD FART= You know how old it is by how bad it smells. BRAIN FART= You need to fart, but nothing comes out. ALZHEIMER FART= A confused fart that heads the wrong way, and becomes a burp. NOT-ME FART= When you drop a bomb in a crowded elevator, turn around to the person behind you and give a disgusted look and whisper "PIG!" U.F.O. FART= When someone farts in crowded room, label it as a "Unidentified Foul Odor".
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beer, disgusting, fart
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, insulting, money, Yo mama
There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, life, marriage
How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly? Just a phew.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Yo mamas so fat that she fought a war with her own farts.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, fat, war, Yo mama
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown Said no one could lay her down. Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of swinging meat. He took her in the long tall grass, Shoved his dick right up her ass. Then she blew one gnarly fart, Blew his ball two feet apart. Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete, With forty pounds of shredded meat.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart
Q. Why don't little girls fart? A. Because they don't get assholes until they're married.
Vote: has 47.89 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fart, marriage, sex
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Vote: has 47.62 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, gay, sex
Q: What did the maxi pad say to the fart? A: You are the wind beneath my wings.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, fart