There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
Yo' Mama is so fat, she uses a mattress for a maxipad.
Yo' Mama is so fat, she puts in tampons with a bazooka.
Yo Momma has so many chins, it looks like she's wearing a fat necklace!
Yo mama so fat that she walked out to a party wearing heels and came back wearing flip-flops.
Yo mama so fat when god said let there be light she was told to move out of the way.
You mama is so fat, when she lies on the beach Greenpeace try to push her back in the water.
Yo mama is so fat when she wears red they say look a firetruck.
Your mama so fat when she goes in Walmart and goes out it's gone.
Yo mama so fat when they took pictures of Earth it looked like Earth had a pimple.